Balancing Learning with Doing

So for those who don't know me personally, my boyfriend, Evan and I bought a farm this past May (cue fanfare!). While that has been very exciting, these first few months haven't left much time for horse-play. 

Our new place!

So, yesterday, for the first time since we moved into our new farm, I got to ride my 5 year old American Bashkir Curly, Lilah on our own property. It was certainly an invigorating experience, riding my horse on my farm! But, it also left me feeling the need to do more. You know, to dig out the dvds, to take more courses, to study more, to be better for my horse. And, while this is incredibly admirable and normal for those of us who follow the "never ending self-improvement" mantra, it can also be paralyzing to actual improvement. 

So, how can the act of learning to be better at horsemanship actually hinder improvement in horsemanship? I know, it does sound crazy! But, here's what I have discovered to be true (at least for myself):

It is easy to get caught up in the mindset that we don't know enough to be effective or to get to where we want to be with our horsemanship. Sometimes, this is reality and sometimes this is in our head. When it is reality, a lack of skills and knowledge drives us to seek out other answers. When it is in our head, a lack of confidence drives us to focus on learning more. On face, these two situations are not necessarily a bad thing as they both lead us to the same result: more knowledge. However, the hindrance comes when we are in process of learning which can cause us to become aware of how much more we do not know, which in turn can cause a greater lack of confidence. Likewise, learning happens outside our comfort zone, and it can feel pretty awkward and embarrassing to practice what we are trying to learn, which again, can hurt our confidence. Pretty soon, it becomes easier and easier to hide in the house rather than actually go out and trying some of these things with our horse! 

Sometimes we perpetuate the cycle with "retail therapy", which can make us feel really great at first. We feel like we are progressing.We think to ourselves, "I'll just buy this new rope, and then, when it comes, then I will be fully equipped to go out and try this new thing with my horse." 

Now, don't get me wrong, as Pat says, attitude, knowledge, tools, techniques, time, imagination, and support are the keys to success. So, I certainly don't want to de-emphasize the importance of good equipment, but the point is that each one of these keys can aid in our success or be excuses for not getting out there and doing things with our horse. I'll be the first to admit, I have used almost all of these as excuses. (I'm too busy, or not creative enough, etc.)

As with all things, we need to find a balance between learning and doing. We will always be our harshest critic. But your horse is not going to judge you for giving it your best shot and using the skills and knowledge you have in that given moment. Doing, practicing, being with our horses is the only way we are going to get truly better with horses. No more hiding behind the guise of learning, it's time to get out there and do it. Yes, we are going to look silly at first, but we will learn, and when we come back to our dvds and courses, when we know better, we can do better. 

Savvy on!

Melissa 

Play With The Horse That Shows Up...A Mantra For 2015

Play with the horse that shows up- Pat Parelli

As we enter the New Year, I've been searching for a resolution to which I can truthfully abide, and I think I've finally found it. "Play with the horse that shows up", a Parelli principle that I have come to learn while dealing with three different horses, two of which have a cusp "horsenality". 

However, this past year has taught me that this phrase has meaning beyond the horse world. In fact, it is the application of this phrase in general life, that inspires me for 2015. "Play with the horse that shows up", meaning- embrace what life throws your way, embrace change, and most importantly, have fun doing it!

If there is anything that 2014 has taught me, it is that life doesn't always go as planned, and when it doesn't, there is certainly no point in stressing over it. 2014 was a year of whims, and craziness, and as such, it was full of adventures that I never would have gotten to experience had I been unable to embrace what life sent my way. I also learned to listen more to my gut, my intuition, and not get bogged down in over-thinking. Remember, the mantra states- play with the horse that shows up. One definition of the word play, is "to engage in". That's what I want for this new year. To be engaged in my life, in every aspect of my life, to jump in wholeheartedly and play with whatever metaphorical horse that shows up. 

Here's to 2015, and I can't wait to see what shows up. 

A Look Back: Psychology 101 with Linda at the Maryland Horse and Soul Tour

One year ago yesterday, I received a much anticipated phone call from someone at Parelli Central. I had been selected to participate in a demo with Linda Parelli at the Maryland Horse and Soul Tour Stop. The session was called "Psychology 101" in which Linda took four students, each with a horse representing one of the Horsenalities, and showed them how to use Psychology to bring out the best in their horse. Below is a blog post that I had written about my experience as part of the demo which I had not published until now...Enjoy!

I wouldn’t normally consider myself to be a very spontaneous person, however my recent confidence with my horse, Rydel, led me to throw caution to the wind, step out of my comfort zone, and apply for a chance to participate in the 2013 Horse and Soul Tour stop in Upper Marlboro, Maryland. While I had the opportunity to choose from an array of different demonstrations or lessons with Pat and Linda, there seemed to be only one obvious choice for my horse and me: Horsenality 101 with Linda.

I have had my horse for nine years. Several months before purchasing her, my 4-H group had received free tickets to a Parelli Tour Stop.  After watching Pat and Linda from the stands, I was instantly hooked. I convinced my parents to purchase the level one pack and watched and studied as much as I could until I finally got a horse of my own. From the day I brought Rydel home, I began putting the Parelli principles I had learned in that level 1 pack to purpose and I truly believe it was this prior knowledge that kept me safe around what I later learned to be a very right brained horse. Everyday, I would go out to play the seven games with my horse, but something seemed to be missing. When I would ask her to back up, for example, she would freeze, and when I increased my phases and added more pressure, rather than responding appropriately, she would absolutely explode! We struggled on like this for a few years, and just when I was about to give up, the concept of Horsenality was introduced, and my whole world changed! Suddenly, I had arrows in my quiver to deal with my very extreme Right Brain Introvert, and the amount of progress we made in such a short period of time amazes me even to this day.

Having impacted the relationship with my horse in such a dramatic way, it is easy to see why getting a chance to demonstrate Horsenality was so important to me, and when I received the call that Rydel and I would be in the show, I was ecstatic that everything was coming full circle. When the big weekend finally arrived, I was so concerned with making sure my horse was ready for the show, and so focused on being able to demonstrate how truly wonderful these Right Brain horses can be, that I wasn’t taking a step back to focus on myself. The day of the show the lack of self-focus hit me like a ton of bricks and I began feeling uncontrollably nauseous. As I groomed and prepared my horse for our big debut, it took every ounce of energy I had to not collapse from the amount of retching my stomach was doing. Every deep breath I took, and every attempt I made to talk myself into walking into that arena seemed futile as I slipped more and more into a state of panic.  Finally, after no longer being able to hide my emotions, I burst into tears in a small room behind the retail booth and received some much needed mental coaching (read: friendly game of the mind).

At what seemed like the very last minute, I composed myself and Rydel and I walked into the arena with Linda Parelli and the other horses and humans who would be represented in the demo. In the ring, my worries melted away and I was able to just have fun with my horse. Linda took each horse in turn to demonstrate each Horsenality to the crowd. Rydel was the perfect example of an extreme Right Brain Introvert and Linda talked about and demonstrated the importance of managing your energy when playing with these types of horses. Ladies and gentlemen, cue the licking and chewing!

Principle number seven states that “horses teach humans” and this tour stop was a great reminder of that principle for me. When I submitted my application to be a part of a demonstration on Horsenality, I assumed I would learn a lot about my horse. In reality, being a part of a demonstration on Horsenality helped me learn a great deal more about my own personality than I ever would have imagined! Because of this experience, I now feel more equipped to deal with my own emotions, especially in new or stressful environments, and to be the leader my horse needs me to be all the time, even if when means admitting my limitations and seeking out support. I am so grateful to have a horse that teaches me something new at just the right moments, and I am even more grateful to have the support of the Parelli community to lean on when it’s me who needs a lesson in becoming calm, cool, and collected. 

Rydel at the fairgrounds, relaxing after the show!

Have You Seen Our New Page?

Hey there!

Have you seen our new page? It's called "Naturally Curly" and it's about Rydel's pasture mates, Lilah and Sailor, the American Bashkir Curly Horses. Check it out by clicking on the tab at the top of this page or by clicking here.

Accept The Saddle

When starting a young horse, the first step is to accept the human, the second step is to accept the saddle. This is a step that has taken a lifetime for my seventeen year old mare. I have written previously about how Rydel came to me with a great fear of saddles and saddling, and it took me a few months to reintroduce the saddle to her as something benign. Unfortunately, while I was trying to teach my horse how saddles can be good things, I was also learning about saddle fit at the exact same time. Through a long process of trial and error with different types and sizes of saddles, I learned a lot at the expense of my horse's back. Even when I thought I was doing it all by the book (wider treed saddle with special pad and shims) it only took a few months before my horse ended up sore backed and ready to bite me when she saw me coming with  my saddle to ride. So, I knew something had to change, and fast!

After months of research (and taking a break from riding to heal my horse's back), I decided that Freeform saddle's were the way to go. My horse was getting sore with every treed saddle I tried, so I knew that I wanted to try treeless, but I also knew that not all treeless saddles are created equally and choosing the right one was very important. Research pointed me to Freeform every time as the obvious choice for quality and science. Tests showed Freeform saddles to have even weight distribution due to the special process in which they are made. A few years ago, the winner of the Tevis Cup (the 100 mile long grueling endurance race) rode in a Freeform and passed every single vet check along the way. I was convinced, I needed to try one.

In February of last year, I purchased my very own Freeform saddle for Rydel, and the difference was remarkable! My horse no longer tries to bite me when I saddle up and she never bucks or balks when I ask her to change gait. When I get off, she doesn't dip her back in pain, and I am forever grateful that we found something that works for us.

Trying on the Freeform

After a year of riding in the Freeform, I am still amazed at how well my horse is doing with it. However, last night, something even more incredible happened. We recently got a new horse, and while I was over helping my boyfriend ride bareback for the first time, I left Rydel saddled up, with the reins tied up so she wouldn't get herself tangled. I could tell she was relaxed, so I had no problem leaving her untied to wait for me to return. Well, the next thing I know, she started to act like she was going to roll...with my saddle still on her! As you can see in the video below, my first reaction was to think "NOOOOO, that saddle costs more than you do, silly horse!" Sadly, I was so dumfounded by her willingness to roll, that I didn't think to turn the camera to start filming her.

(It's the audio in this video that matters)

But after watching my horse roll in the snow and straight over onto her back with my Freeform saddle still attached to her body, I realized how truly big of a deal this event was. First, my horse has never been confident enough to roll in an arena full of people, let alone to be confident with the saddle enough to feel comfortable rolling in it!

I have no words to describe how amazing it feels to know that my horse finally accepts the saddle, and to know that I (with the help of Freeform) was able to help her overcome her anxiety and years of baggage to be truly comfortable wearing her saddle and to be the best partner immaginable!

Sunday Funday: Sledding With Horses!

Today I got the chance to scratch something off my horsey bucket list. The weather has been absolutely horrible thanks to the polar vortex of doom here in the US. However, today we decided to take advantage of the snow and play with something new. Yesterday, one of the girls at our barn decided it would be fun to hook her ponies up to a harness and have them pull a sled. After hearing about it and seeing the videos, of course I wanted to try it with my two horses!

With this plan in mind, I started my session with Rydel with a lot of friendly game. My ultimate goal was to get her to be able to drag something behind her confidently. I have to say, when I pulled the tarp out (after conveniently stashing it away all winter), Rydel's snorts and skepticism quickly had me thinking this was not going to be as easy as I had initially anticipated. After playing various versions of the friendly game in every zone for about a half hour, Rydel was still not very confident having the tarp or bag dragged behind her. Sensing the need to retreat, I decided to take a break and focus my attention elsewhere. After a short but sweet time at liberty, I decided to hop on Rydel bareback and watch as my fellow barn-mates took turns having their horses pull the sled. After some more friendly game following them around on horseback and of course, after I took a turn riding in the sled myself, I decided to bite the bullet and put the harness on Rydel. I wanted to see how she would react, and I was basically prepared for the worst.

At first, Evan stayed behind and put a little pressure on the rope while I lead Rydel around. Once we got the hang of that, I had Evan get in the sled and led Rydel again. I was AMAZED at how well she did. She really seemed to understand the purpose and even leaned into the harness to give herself more leverage. Before I knew it, we were trotting around and having a great time! We played with this with both Rydel and Lilah and they both did great! Even though we were having a lot of fun, we kept our playtime short, sweet, and successful, knowing that we would definitely be practicing with the sled again.

At the end of our playtime with the sled, Rydel let out a big yawn and had a big emotional release. I could not be more proud of the confidence she demonstrated today, and I am even more humbled that she so willingly accepted my leadership and attempted something scary that she had never done before. What a great way to end the weekend!

What is on your horsey bucket list?

Completely Confident: Creating A Confident Horse in 5 Areas

Lilah Rose is confident in herself, naturally curious, and always in you face!

As an owner of a right brained horse who is naturally inclined to be insecure, I think and talk about building confidence a lot. However, what does it really mean to have a truly confident horse? How do we know that we are setting our horse up for success in every situation? These are questions that I didn't even know to ask until recently.

A few months ago, we moved the horses to a new barn that is much closer to where we live. Prior to the move, we had been dealing with some serious separation anxiety between our two horses. Whenever we would take one out of sight of the other, they would get very right brained and emotional, especially our curly horse, Lilah. Now, after enduring the tribulations of being uprooted, our horses are more bonded than ever. Just when I was starting to feel lost about how to approach dealing with the times we want to separate our horses, I happened to pick up and watch a DVD that was a game changer for the way I think about my horse's confidence and is the key to tackling the separation anxiety.

In the video, Linda Parelli matter-of-factly explained that as a good horse person, it is my responsibility to  build my horse's confidence in five areas:

1) In myself as a leader
2) In his or herself
3) In the herd
4) In the environment
5) In learning situations

Say it with me now - "Hmm, how interesting!" I had never thought about gaining my horse's confidence in each of these areas before. In fact, now I understand why it is possible for our very left brained curly horse, who is very confident in herself, to be unconfident in new environments, because we really haven't focused on building her confidence in this area specifically. Additionally, I want to point out that the areas of confidence are compounding. For example, in a familiar environment, with the herd around, and me as a leader, my horse might have total confidence. But in a new environment, without the security of the herd, my horse might lose confidence in me as a leader, and if he is not confident in his own ability to take leadership, then you might have a mess on your hands. This is not the greatest example, but hopefully you get the idea of how each area of confidence has the potential to impact the others. You cannot ignore the ones that pose challenges. Alternatively, you can utilize your strengths to aid you in the areas in which your horse has less confidence.

It is our job to build our horse's confidence in each area to help our horse become more mentally and emotionally centered.

Eventually, if I've done my job correctly, my horse will have confidence in me as a leader, and in himself which will allow him to have confidence in our herd of two in any environment or learning situation. It is my challenge to you to work on building confidence in each of the five areas, I know I will be!

Positive, Progressive, and Natural!

As we ring in 2014, I cannot get away with not talking about my goals for this new year. I have decided to set myself up for success this year and keep my goals simple and attainable. I was recently reading 3-Star Parelli Instructor, Jake Biernbaum's newsletter in which he reminded me to keep working on my horsemanship, keeping the phrase "positive, progressive, and natural" in mind. What a perfect theme on which to base my goals for 2014 (thanks, Jake)!

2014 Horsemanship Goals

1) Seek out more support to keep a positive attitude throughout my journey

2) Teach my horse something new every month to stay progressive

3) keep it natural, always!

What are your horsemanship goals for 2014? Feeling stuck? Take a look at the eight principles below to help you generate ideas!

Note: This photo is property of Parelli Natural Horsemanship.

An Apology Letter

This is something that I never wanted to have to write, and yet it has become necessary. Last night, as I was playing with my boyfriend's super silly, and super smart, left brain extrovert/introvert mare, I was blindsided by a lesson I probably never would have learned from my willing and obedient right brain introverted gentle flower.

I have noticed for a few months now how discouraged Evan was becoming during his playtimes with Lilah (the left brain curly horse in question above). At first I would observe, offer advise when needed, and point him in the direction of professionals when my limited amount of knowledge wasn't enough. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him navigate his journey with his horse on his own terms and timeline. However, as the weeks went by, I noticed Evan and Lilah had reached a stalemate and no progress was being made. Last night, I decided to assess the situation for myself and after a particularly wonderful session with my own horse, I offered to trade horses with Evan so he could feel what it is like to play and have fun, and I could gain some understanding as to what is going on in the head of that little, feisty, curly-haired horse of his.

Taking the rope in hand, I was awestruck by the horse I found at the other end. A by-the-book long phase one and quick two, three, four demonstrated a few things. First, this horse knew our game and was playing it one step ahead of us. Not only has our horse learned to be begrudgingly obedient at phase four, but she has also learned that she does not need to do anything until phase four comes, and she knows eventually it will come. So what did this scene turn out to look like? It ended up with a horse obediently following a figure-eight pattern but with absolute disdain for the pattern, for me, and for this whole "game". I found myself looking like a total idiot throwing out meagerly effective long phase ones and quick phase fours at the regular to keep this horse moving on a pattern and all the while HATING it. This poor horse did not see a purpose to the pattern, did not see what was in it for her, and yet was being forced into it by a seemingly harmless strategy I had learned in the Parelli program that was working but not making it fun for either of us....How interesting.

Thus begins my wake up call: Parelli Natural Horsemanship is not cookie cutter. My apology is to our horse for being too much of a direct line thinker, for believing that because she is left brain, I MUST employ certain strategies and that these strategies WILL work. Last night, I was reminded of a certain cowboy Parelli instructor insisting that "there are no rules, just eight principles" and it is our responsibility to seek out the strategies that use these principles to find what is best for our individual horse. It is our responsibility to maintain their dignity and to always put them first. And I can assure you, as I have lived it first hand, that if the strategies you are using make you feel like you are wailing on your horse with a semi-flexible stick or that the sound of you slapping the ground with a string is reverberating around the arena every five minutes, or if you are even remotely embarrassed to have someone watching you during this whole process, you're doing it wrong. 

So this morning, I will eat a big slice of humble pie, and be the first to tell you that I was doing it wrong with a very forgiving, very intelligent horse, who has been trying to tell us this for a long time, and I was too dense to see it. This is my apology to her, and to my boyfriend for not seeing that with some horses, you might need to think outside the box, to work smarter and not harder, and I know I will get a lot of flack for this from other Parelli people, but I don't see any purpose in having to "go there", to phase four with a horse that GETS it. This is not to say I will never use this strategy again, but upping my phases to get what I want is not going to be my go to game with a horse this smart.

I promise to work smarter, to use strategies that show this horse what's in it for her and to get her excited again about being and playing with us. No, I don't have all the answers, but I certainly am planning to think outside the box for a while. My first plan is to use more rewards at the slightest try and work up from there. My hope is that constant reward at the slightest try will keep her offering more and allow me to not have to use higher phases to force her into it. She KNOWS what we want, the key is to get her to WANT to do it.

In closing, let me be absolutely clear, this is not an indictment of the Parelli program, nor is it an indictment of any of their strategies as I am absolutely loyal to their program and see a time and a place for all their strategies if used at the proper time and in the proper position. Instead, I hope you will take the lesson that I learned and apply it to your own journey with this understanding: the horse and his dignity comes first. Using the eight principles, it is our job to build a relationship and a language with our horse that allows him to maintain such dignity while he betrays all natural instincts as a prey animal and forms a harmonious partnership with the ultimate predator.

Pattern Positivity!

With the way things have been going with work recently, my weekday horse time has been more abbreviated than i would normally prefer. Tonight we had an appointment with the farrier for both Rydel and Lilah and I was determined to maximize my time. Rydel got her pedicure first, and while Lilah was getting her tootsies worked on, I decided to take Rydel into the arena to have some fun.

I hadn't planned on riding, but Rydel was quite calm and connected so I decided to hop on bareback and instantly, I had a plan- we were going to play with responsiveness using the corners game. Now, before you start piling on the praise for my ability to quickly assess the situation and make a plan for how to fix it, I must admit that the idea was not mine. A few months ago I submitted my level 2 freestyle audition (viewable here) and when I received my results (level 2++ pass!), the assessor suggested using the corners game to work up to cantering consistent laps.

Anyhow, with this plan in mind, I intentionally did not tie my rope into reins. With only one rein for emergencies, I was forced to focus on how I was using my body to cue my horse. Once I was able to ride the rail at the walk without having to use many corrections, I introduced the corners game. To reinforce the pattern, we started at the walk and stopped at every corner. Each time, I tried to be very conscious of my energy and body language, and overly exaggerated my stops by exhaling deeply and trying to release all the energy from my body. As I did this, Parelli Professional, Don Jessop's words were ringing in my head...  Your energy should be like a light switch, either on or off, there should be no in-between. Alternatively, when I would ask her to go again, I tried to increase my energy and bring my life up in my body so that Rydel could clearly feel the difference. I kept stopping at every corner for three or four laps until she really understood the pattern, making sure that the corners provided a lot of reward in the form of rest and scratches. Next, rather than changing the pattern up (ie: alternating the corner at which we stop to keep my horse interested an guessing) I decided to keep the pattern consistent for my right brain horse, but alternate the gait instead.

Using the consistency of the pattern for reinforcement- every corner means stop - I asked Rydel to pick up a trot on the short sides of the arena and maintain a walk on the long sides. Pretty soon, she was putting more and more effort into getting to each corner and she was offering to trot on the long sides as well. Hmmm, how interesting! What was even cooler, was that I was able to use her putting effort into staying on the pattern (her responsibility) to focus on my responsibility of keeping my focus and managing my energy to affect her responsiveness. By the end of our session, all I had to do was exhale to get her to stop which was reinforced by the pattern of stopping in the corner, and bring my energy up in my body to get her to go again!

Many lights went off in my head tonight, and I am really seeing the value in patterns. Previously, I had been so preoccupied with perfecting the patterns that I missed their true potential. Now I see that I can use patterns to reinforce something that I am teaching, such as increased responsiveness off my body language and energy alone! I can't wait to start using the patterns to teach and reinforce even more concepts!

Gaining Wait

"This is the only horsemanship program in the world where we ask our students to gain more weight"... Huh? Did 3* Parelli Professional, Don Jessop just tell me I need to gain weight? I mean, I know I'm a little on the skinny side, but...

"Not weight, but wait, w-a-i-t! We don't do this enough with our horses and definitely not in a clinic setting"

...

(Lightbulb!) 

     A few weeks ago, Evan and I took the day off work, packed up the horses, and spent a full eight hours devoted to bettering our horsemanship at liberty. 3* Parelli Professional, Don Jessop was in the area for a canter clinic he was to be teaching that weekend in Harrisburg, and while I had never met Don before, I jumped at the chance to brush up on the one Savvy I knew the least about, Liberty.

     In the morning, Don told us his story and asked us our goals for the day. He informed us that while we would try a lot of new things in this clinic and gain many strategies for bettering our Liberty Savvy and connection with our horses, he also wanted us to perfect one thing at Liberty that we could later show off to the class. I was intrigued by this approach of setting us up for both long and short-term success. We started off with some horseless simulations and then settled in to lunch where we learned more about Don and his teaching style. Don told us that there are no rules, just principles, the 8 Parelli Principles to be exact, and his goal is to help us use these principles to find what is right for us and our horses. 

     When we brought our horses into the arena, Don had us work on the yo-yo game to immediately establish respect in a new area. We needed to assert ourselves as leaders, and Don challenged us to have straight, snappy back-ups without using our ropes. Next, we did something that just about blew my mind. Don asked us to spread out around the arena and focus on finding our horse's itchy spots and really dig deep to find the one thing that they truly love! For about five minutes, the class rubbed and loved on their horses and a calm began to fall over everyone. After ten minutes, Rydel was blowing out and yawning like I have never seen before! (Is is now a big savvy arrow in my quiver and I use it often to get her to become calmer quicker!) And just when I thought, we surly should be moving on to something else now, Don asked us to keep loving on our horses. As Parelli students, we need to learn to gain more wait time with our horses. Time to establish rapport and connection with our horse. To create a reason for them to want to be with us, and to want to try for us. After all, the Seven Games are only fun when both horse and human are engaged and trying, not when they become the seven jobs or the seven makes. 

     After about twenty minutes of doing nothing but loving on our horses and scratching their itchy spots, Don told us that the calm that we just witnessed is the level at which he likes to keep all his clinics and that we can achieve a lot while staying at that level of calm with our horse. As we went through the day, we all noticed there was a clear sequence that Don was trying to help us learn and it goes like this:

1) Establish respect (yo-yo game is an easy way to test this)

2) Establish rapport (this is a friendly game most people forget about. It can also be used as a reward or release for staying connected or coming back "home" at Liberty)

3) Grow your horse's confidence (find something your horse does not like and play with that- the more commonly used friendly game)

4) (I honestly cant remember the exact word here but I think it was Impulsion or Refinement- someone help me out!)

After going through this sequence, we were all set up for success with a calm, connected, and responsive horse! All in all, it was pretty amazing as we practiced being Online as if we were at Liberty and then practiced being at Liberty as if we were Online. By the end of the day, all eight horses were at Liberty and with their human. It was humbling and beautiful! 

A partial panorama from the clinic

Here are a few other tips we learned: 

• Repeat something until your horse "GETS IT" and know what this looks like. 
• The speed at which you do your corrections matters.
• When a horse leaves you, his mind leaves first. Look for when the mind leaves and correct that, before the feet ever have a chance to leave. (Speed here matters, and we played a game called "come home" where we would watch for their eyes to disconnect and then ask them to come home by bringing them into the other eye- the one that left first. I can try to post a video for anyone interested). 
• Practice being at Liberty by putting the halter around your horses neck rather than his or her head. 
• Be aware of your energy, it should either be on or off. 
• When playing the circling game, you must know exactly how many circles you want from the beginning, or else it is a game your horse cannot win. 
• If the horse leaves you, repeat the exercise that caused him to leave, use a halter if you must, if a horse leaves three times you are training him to do it. 

"The Success of Your Horse" on the Parelli Central Blog

I have recently had a blog post featured on the Parelli Central Blog...Enjoy!

Click here to go to the blog!

Send Me On My Way

Evan recently got the new iPhone 5S, so of course we had to test it out on the horses. Here is a little video I put together using the new phone. Enjoy!

EDIT: Video was removed, please use link below

(Or view on youtube using this link).

Work on Yourself, Play with Your Horse!

One of the things that differs Parelli from other training programs, is that it focuses on training the human rather than the horse. As the human, this is a very humbling experience, and requires an open mind from the start.

My first insight to the Parelli program was at a tour stop in Columbus, Ohio. One of the take-home messages of that tour stop was that there is no such thing as a bad horse or a problem horse, there are just people who lack the knowledge or savvy to effectively communicate with such horses. As a fourteen year old 4-H student, this blew me away. In the traditional horse world, people "work" their horses. In the Parelli world, we work on ourselves and play with our horses. As someone who has experienced both worlds, I can assure you that Parelli world is much more fun!

In focusing on ourselves, to learn the language of the horse and to become better partners, we take a lot of pressure off the horse and remove the us vs. them mentality that places the blame on the horse. Additionally, framing the session with our horse as play, rather than training or work, is largely for our benefit so that we enter the arena with the right attitude. Horses are instinctually motivated by the need to be safe and comfortable first, and once these needs are met, horses will play. Humans, on the other hand, see working or training a horse as a means to an end. The end, or motivating factor for humans, is usually praise, recognition or, materials things. As a horse-person, it is okay to seek these things out, but a savvy horse-person ensures that the needs of his or her horse come first.

So, what you do have to look forward to in Parelli world? The answer is a beautiful journey of never ending self improvement for yourself that reaps lasting benefits for your horse.

Come see us on Parelli Connect and learn more about the Parelli program!

Like It Or Not, Progress.

In the past few months, a lot of things have changed in both my horsemanship and my life. I spent a lot of time just focusing on my relationship with Rydel and not worrying about having an agenda with her or worrying about how to translate our time together into blog posts. This was all pretty liberating for myself, but probably fairly boring for those of you who do (or did) follow my blog.

During this time off, however, I have been given the opportunity to reflect on my horsemanship journey, and more importantly, my attitude about my journey. First, I took some time to just slow down. In doing so, I learned that my horse has a lot to offer. From meeting me at the gate, to showing me where she wants to be scratched, to attempting to mutually groom with me (ouch!), to bucking and playing and jumping, it has been amazing to watch her grow into herself and open up more and more! This "slow down" period for us was relaxing and incredibly consistent. We ended up doing a lot of the same things everyday, practicing the things we were good at, and avoiding the things we are not. We are both Right Brain Introverts, after all, so it should not come as a surprise when I say we tended to stick within our comfort zone.

While we were progressing with our relationship and having some really great times together, it wasn't until a recent lesson with Parelli Professional, Jane Bartsch that i realized I wasn't being provocative enough. Jane challenged us with some zone 5 driving for our homework and taught us the beginning of long rein driving. I am excited to keep pushing our level of savvy to new heights! (Thanks, Jane!). In other exciting news, a few days after our lesson with Jane, we received word that Rydel and I passed our level 3 online audition! You can view the video Here. I intentionally waited to talk about it because I honestly thought we would fail on our circling game. I know it's not our absolute best, but I am pretty happy with the results.

Also during this time, I decided to apply for a demo spot at the Upper Marlboro, MD Horse and Soul Tour Stop. I wanted to challenge myself and provide some purpose for our play times. I decided to apply for the Psychology 101 demo with Linda, as I believe Rydel is a pretty classic RBI. Well, I finally finished the video, which I am excited to share with you all!. You can view it  on Youtube here!

So, what have I learned during this crazy adventure these last few months? I've learned that the phrase, never ending self improvement is not just a mantra on the days that we feel like it. Instead, we should be actively seeking out progress, in horsemanship and in life. This is not to say that we need to be constantly improving, per say. Maybe "progress" for you at this moment means having the savvy to know when to push yourself and when to take some reflective undemanding time. Whatever your action may be, it is progress as long as you are moving closer toward your goals. We owe it to ourselves and our horses to take an active role in achieving our goals and becoming the horsemen and women we want to be. My call to action for us all is this: Like it or not, progress!

Well, Look At That!

Was going to write something tonight, when I decided to check the Parelli Central Blog.... Guess I can save my thoughts for tomorrow! In the meantime, feel free to check this out! - Horsenality Isn't Exactly Common Knowledge

So It's Been A While...

I'm sure you have all probably forgotten what it looks like to have my blog pop up in your reading lists and dashboards, but alas, I am alive and humbly seeking forgiveness from disappearing for so long. I have no real excuse other than the fact that blogging has not been a priority lately. Well, today I'm hoping that will change, as I have lot's of exciting things to share with you.

Rewind back to the winter, it was cold but not miserable and Rydel and I were doing a lot of riding. I have never been a particularly confident rider, but the trust and confidence Rydel has gained in the last year has inspired the growth of confidence within myself, and with each day of playing with and riding Rydel, I felt more and more willing to try bigger and bolder things.

When I got Rydel eight years ago, she was totally green and terrified of being ridden. The day I went to trial her before the purchase, the owner lunged her for about 15 minutes, tied her up and forced the saddle on her. She could not be mounted without someone forcing her to stand still, and she was so agitated with the whole situation that she threw her head so violently that she flipped the reins over her head and literally flipped the bit completely over inside her mouth. Even after witnessing all that, I still did not comprehend what a challenge this horse would be for me. She has been my greatest challenge, a wonderful success, and most importantly, my best teacher.

This is a video of me riding Rydel back in February of this year (Link Below). The purpose of this video is not to show off any great skill or ability as a rider; there are many people who ride more gracefully properly than I do. Instead, I am proud of this video because of the confidence and trust we have both gained as partners. Never in a million years would I have expected to accomplish the things I am now accomplishing with my horse. This sweet little Arab has taught me to dream a little bigger every day! :)

(Here's the video link. I couldn't get it to upload directly!)

Shout-Out To The Parelli Central Blog

A few months ago, I submitted a blog post to the Parelli Central team about a mental breakthrough I had conceptualizing my progress with Rydel. At the time, it made a lot of sense for me to hash out my thoughts on paper, but I didn't really expect much to come of it. Well, today I received notification that my submission has been posted on the Parelli Central Blog! I am honored, excited, and a little embarrassed! Of course, I feel like my writing does not have much universal clarity. After all, I had mostly been writing for my own sake, to sort out all my thoughts and emotions. But, nevertheless I am absolutely thrilled to make my first major mark on the Parelli social media world, and I can assure you, it will not be my last!

View The Post Here!

The Tour Stop that started it all!

Perfect Landing

This past weekend Evan and I made the 8 hour trip east to move myself, some of our things, and our horses to my new (and Evan's old) home in Pennsylvania. It was a long drive for us, and even longer for the horses, but we all eventually made it safe and sound and had an absolutely "perfect landing" when the horses stepped off the trailer in their new Oxford, PA home for the first time. Rydel was a little stiff (as to be expected) but back nicely off the trailer and just stood and waited for me to give her the next cue. I slowly walked her into her outdoor dry lot which had been set up for the night with hay, water, and fresh straw bedding in their run-in. I gave her a good once over and hit some of her acupressure points to help ease her pain. After Lilah got off the trailer and we squared up with JD Hughes, our amazing transport driver, our barn owner said something that I wouldn't have expected. She said... "Never have I ever seen two horses step off the trailer and act so calm and comfortable here." With a smile, I looked at Evan and knew he was thinking the same exact thing, It's all thanks to Parelli! Our horses are adaptable, they act like partners, and they look to us as their leaders to tell them whether they should be nervous in their new environment. Evan and I were well prepared for the moment they would step off the trailer and in being centered ourselves, we allowed our horses to be centered as well.

We allowed our horses to settle in overnight, and I was amazed to find two perfect partners waiting for us the next morning right at the gate ready to greet us! We took the opportunity to spend some undemanding time before letting them out in their pasture for the first time. They both walked about 5 feet before stopping to graze, and meeting their over the fence neighbor was a non event. Deciding they were content, we left for about an hour to pick up supplies at a local feed and tack store. One we returned, as we walked through their dry lot and over to the gate that leads to their pasture, we saw four ears perk up over the hill. Rydel had been grazing next to Lilah who decided life is much easier when you can graze from the ground!

We then allowed our horses to catch us and escorted them into the barn for the first time. Again our barn owner was amazed to see them walk so calmly around the unfamiliar territory of the farm. As we walked, I kept checking to see how connected Rydel was to me by stopping and seeing how much it took to get her to stop with me. Once inside, Rydel confidently put her nose on the stall doors, horse blankets, and even the clock! She backed confidently into the wash rack before getting to explore the magnificent indoor arena.

Having the large indoor to ourselves, Evan and I decided to let the horses off their leads to play at liberty, and we had such a great time! Both Rydel and Lilah stuck to us at the walk and trot all around the arena as we explored the mirrors, jumps, and mounting block. Even as the barn owner opened the large doors to the indoor exposing us to the open barn leading to the outside, Rydel's attention to me never faltered and she stayed with me the entire time completely at liberty!

I'm so happy to have such wonderful horses! And I'm convinced that our prior and proper preparation with Parelli has allowed this transition to a new state to be a purely positive experience!

Equine Predatory Instinct?

A few weeks ago, Evan and I were watching Liberty and Horse Behavior and Pat mentioned something about how some horses have a predatory instinct of sorts. A lot of times we see Stallions with this instinct where they will chase down a threat to their band and confront it if necessary. Perhaps predatory is not the right term to use here, as we know horses are prey animals and would never actually seek to kill as a predator would. However, I have seen horses get pretty aggressive with "predators" (dogs and cats). In the first instance, we had brought my dog to the barn with us to have some fun running around in the fields. Being curious, my dog playfully approached a young gelding, the two sniffed each other and then the colt immediately began chasing my dog. At first it looked playful, but I soon realized this horse was driving my dog using the "snaking" head position that Stallions use to run down a mare. The horse was barreling down on my dog full speed with his head down and teeth bared. Luckily my dog was able to duck under the fence after a very close call, and I still wonder to this day what would have happened. Would the young horse have trampled my dog? Would he have bit him? Killed him? We have also recently heard a story about a horse would would pick up cats by their tail and violently shake them. I'm unsure what it is that drives horses to be confrontational and engage the "fight" side of their instincts rather than the "flight" side.

A few weeks ago, Evan and I were playing with our horses and discovered that our 2 year old Curly Horse, Lilah loves to track down and ultimately stomp on things. We first noticed the behavior when our new barn cat entered the arena. Lilah, then at Liberty, was immediately drawn to the cat following it intently at the walk and trot. The cat, obviously intimidated, didn't put up with it for long before bolting out, but we were intrigued. Next, Evan grabbed a a whip with a long string used by the normals at our barn to longe their horses. What we saw next, amazed us! Evan would drag the string along the ground, much like you would to bait a cat into playing with a ball of yarn, and Lilah would stalk it and run after it until she was able to attack it with her hooves. I say attack, because what we saw was not play, it was more than that. She was literally violent with the end of the string, stomping it out as if she was trying to stomp the life out of it. We tried to capture the nature of this on video, but after a few tries, we never did see the level of violence as we saw the first time. What you see in the video is a fair second, and demonstrates this unusual tracking behavior.

I do question whether or not this behavior stems from a high play drive (more left brain behavior) or if it stems from the need to eliminate a threat in order to seek out safety (more right brain behavior). Certainly something to think about...

Edit: I re-watched the segment in Liberty and Horse behavior where Pat briefly discusses this behavior, he calls it an extreme "herding" instinct. He states that these horses will actually kill sheep and other small animals, but are also very good at being cow horses as Janine mentions in the comments below. He does not go into much detail beyond that, but I do believe it is a behavior that we can encourage the positive attributes and discourage the negative ones. -Melissa