An Apology Letter

This is something that I never wanted to have to write, and yet it has become necessary. Last night, as I was playing with my boyfriend's super silly, and super smart, left brain extrovert/introvert mare, I was blindsided by a lesson I probably never would have learned from my willing and obedient right brain introverted gentle flower.

I have noticed for a few months now how discouraged Evan was becoming during his playtimes with Lilah (the left brain curly horse in question above). At first I would observe, offer advise when needed, and point him in the direction of professionals when my limited amount of knowledge wasn't enough. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him navigate his journey with his horse on his own terms and timeline. However, as the weeks went by, I noticed Evan and Lilah had reached a stalemate and no progress was being made. Last night, I decided to assess the situation for myself and after a particularly wonderful session with my own horse, I offered to trade horses with Evan so he could feel what it is like to play and have fun, and I could gain some understanding as to what is going on in the head of that little, feisty, curly-haired horse of his.

Taking the rope in hand, I was awestruck by the horse I found at the other end. A by-the-book long phase one and quick two, three, four demonstrated a few things. First, this horse knew our game and was playing it one step ahead of us. Not only has our horse learned to be begrudgingly obedient at phase four, but she has also learned that she does not need to do anything until phase four comes, and she knows eventually it will come. So what did this scene turn out to look like? It ended up with a horse obediently following a figure-eight pattern but with absolute disdain for the pattern, for me, and for this whole "game". I found myself looking like a total idiot throwing out meagerly effective long phase ones and quick phase fours at the regular to keep this horse moving on a pattern and all the while HATING it. This poor horse did not see a purpose to the pattern, did not see what was in it for her, and yet was being forced into it by a seemingly harmless strategy I had learned in the Parelli program that was working but not making it fun for either of us....How interesting.

Thus begins my wake up call: Parelli Natural Horsemanship is not cookie cutter. My apology is to our horse for being too much of a direct line thinker, for believing that because she is left brain, I MUST employ certain strategies and that these strategies WILL work. Last night, I was reminded of a certain cowboy Parelli instructor insisting that "there are no rules, just eight principles" and it is our responsibility to seek out the strategies that use these principles to find what is best for our individual horse. It is our responsibility to maintain their dignity and to always put them first. And I can assure you, as I have lived it first hand, that if the strategies you are using make you feel like you are wailing on your horse with a semi-flexible stick or that the sound of you slapping the ground with a string is reverberating around the arena every five minutes, or if you are even remotely embarrassed to have someone watching you during this whole process, you're doing it wrong. 

So this morning, I will eat a big slice of humble pie, and be the first to tell you that I was doing it wrong with a very forgiving, very intelligent horse, who has been trying to tell us this for a long time, and I was too dense to see it. This is my apology to her, and to my boyfriend for not seeing that with some horses, you might need to think outside the box, to work smarter and not harder, and I know I will get a lot of flack for this from other Parelli people, but I don't see any purpose in having to "go there", to phase four with a horse that GETS it. This is not to say I will never use this strategy again, but upping my phases to get what I want is not going to be my go to game with a horse this smart.

I promise to work smarter, to use strategies that show this horse what's in it for her and to get her excited again about being and playing with us. No, I don't have all the answers, but I certainly am planning to think outside the box for a while. My first plan is to use more rewards at the slightest try and work up from there. My hope is that constant reward at the slightest try will keep her offering more and allow me to not have to use higher phases to force her into it. She KNOWS what we want, the key is to get her to WANT to do it.

In closing, let me be absolutely clear, this is not an indictment of the Parelli program, nor is it an indictment of any of their strategies as I am absolutely loyal to their program and see a time and a place for all their strategies if used at the proper time and in the proper position. Instead, I hope you will take the lesson that I learned and apply it to your own journey with this understanding: the horse and his dignity comes first. Using the eight principles, it is our job to build a relationship and a language with our horse that allows him to maintain such dignity while he betrays all natural instincts as a prey animal and forms a harmonious partnership with the ultimate predator.

Pattern Positivity!

With the way things have been going with work recently, my weekday horse time has been more abbreviated than i would normally prefer. Tonight we had an appointment with the farrier for both Rydel and Lilah and I was determined to maximize my time. Rydel got her pedicure first, and while Lilah was getting her tootsies worked on, I decided to take Rydel into the arena to have some fun.

I hadn't planned on riding, but Rydel was quite calm and connected so I decided to hop on bareback and instantly, I had a plan- we were going to play with responsiveness using the corners game. Now, before you start piling on the praise for my ability to quickly assess the situation and make a plan for how to fix it, I must admit that the idea was not mine. A few months ago I submitted my level 2 freestyle audition (viewable here) and when I received my results (level 2++ pass!), the assessor suggested using the corners game to work up to cantering consistent laps.

Anyhow, with this plan in mind, I intentionally did not tie my rope into reins. With only one rein for emergencies, I was forced to focus on how I was using my body to cue my horse. Once I was able to ride the rail at the walk without having to use many corrections, I introduced the corners game. To reinforce the pattern, we started at the walk and stopped at every corner. Each time, I tried to be very conscious of my energy and body language, and overly exaggerated my stops by exhaling deeply and trying to release all the energy from my body. As I did this, Parelli Professional, Don Jessop's words were ringing in my head...  Your energy should be like a light switch, either on or off, there should be no in-between. Alternatively, when I would ask her to go again, I tried to increase my energy and bring my life up in my body so that Rydel could clearly feel the difference. I kept stopping at every corner for three or four laps until she really understood the pattern, making sure that the corners provided a lot of reward in the form of rest and scratches. Next, rather than changing the pattern up (ie: alternating the corner at which we stop to keep my horse interested an guessing) I decided to keep the pattern consistent for my right brain horse, but alternate the gait instead.

Using the consistency of the pattern for reinforcement- every corner means stop - I asked Rydel to pick up a trot on the short sides of the arena and maintain a walk on the long sides. Pretty soon, she was putting more and more effort into getting to each corner and she was offering to trot on the long sides as well. Hmmm, how interesting! What was even cooler, was that I was able to use her putting effort into staying on the pattern (her responsibility) to focus on my responsibility of keeping my focus and managing my energy to affect her responsiveness. By the end of our session, all I had to do was exhale to get her to stop which was reinforced by the pattern of stopping in the corner, and bring my energy up in my body to get her to go again!

Many lights went off in my head tonight, and I am really seeing the value in patterns. Previously, I had been so preoccupied with perfecting the patterns that I missed their true potential. Now I see that I can use patterns to reinforce something that I am teaching, such as increased responsiveness off my body language and energy alone! I can't wait to start using the patterns to teach and reinforce even more concepts!

Perfect Landing

This past weekend Evan and I made the 8 hour trip east to move myself, some of our things, and our horses to my new (and Evan's old) home in Pennsylvania. It was a long drive for us, and even longer for the horses, but we all eventually made it safe and sound and had an absolutely "perfect landing" when the horses stepped off the trailer in their new Oxford, PA home for the first time. Rydel was a little stiff (as to be expected) but back nicely off the trailer and just stood and waited for me to give her the next cue. I slowly walked her into her outdoor dry lot which had been set up for the night with hay, water, and fresh straw bedding in their run-in. I gave her a good once over and hit some of her acupressure points to help ease her pain. After Lilah got off the trailer and we squared up with JD Hughes, our amazing transport driver, our barn owner said something that I wouldn't have expected. She said... "Never have I ever seen two horses step off the trailer and act so calm and comfortable here." With a smile, I looked at Evan and knew he was thinking the same exact thing, It's all thanks to Parelli! Our horses are adaptable, they act like partners, and they look to us as their leaders to tell them whether they should be nervous in their new environment. Evan and I were well prepared for the moment they would step off the trailer and in being centered ourselves, we allowed our horses to be centered as well.

We allowed our horses to settle in overnight, and I was amazed to find two perfect partners waiting for us the next morning right at the gate ready to greet us! We took the opportunity to spend some undemanding time before letting them out in their pasture for the first time. They both walked about 5 feet before stopping to graze, and meeting their over the fence neighbor was a non event. Deciding they were content, we left for about an hour to pick up supplies at a local feed and tack store. One we returned, as we walked through their dry lot and over to the gate that leads to their pasture, we saw four ears perk up over the hill. Rydel had been grazing next to Lilah who decided life is much easier when you can graze from the ground!

We then allowed our horses to catch us and escorted them into the barn for the first time. Again our barn owner was amazed to see them walk so calmly around the unfamiliar territory of the farm. As we walked, I kept checking to see how connected Rydel was to me by stopping and seeing how much it took to get her to stop with me. Once inside, Rydel confidently put her nose on the stall doors, horse blankets, and even the clock! She backed confidently into the wash rack before getting to explore the magnificent indoor arena.

Having the large indoor to ourselves, Evan and I decided to let the horses off their leads to play at liberty, and we had such a great time! Both Rydel and Lilah stuck to us at the walk and trot all around the arena as we explored the mirrors, jumps, and mounting block. Even as the barn owner opened the large doors to the indoor exposing us to the open barn leading to the outside, Rydel's attention to me never faltered and she stayed with me the entire time completely at liberty!

I'm so happy to have such wonderful horses! And I'm convinced that our prior and proper preparation with Parelli has allowed this transition to a new state to be a purely positive experience!

Passive Persistence...

EDIT: To see the published version of this blog, please go to http://central.parellinaturalhorsetraining.com/2012/12/passive-persistance-asking-for-the-try/

Expect A Lot, Accept A Little, Reward The Slightest Try.

Reward the slightest try: a Parelli-ism I had always tried to live by for my Right Brain Introvert horse. I was doing it all by the book, giving her time, using approach and retreat, and waiting for her to build her confidence. For the past year I have been trying to live by this motto (I even have a bracelet with the saying to remind me), yet last night I came to a realization that sheds a whole new light on what it means to reward the try. 

In order to reward the slightest try, you must first ask for the horse to try. 

This, my friends, is the basis of my revelation. In the past year, as I began to get more involved with many Parelli Professionals in clinics and lessons, a reverberating theme has been incorporated in all of their advise to me. I must not be afraid to ask more of my horse. In other words, (for lack of a more imaginative way to put this), I must expect a lot. This in and of itself is not a major epiphany. I've said it here, and here and probably even more than that, and yet, today it makes more sense. The real understanding for me comes from what it means for my horse to try for me. I titled this post "Passive Persistence"because this is what is required from the horsewoman (or man) as she asks the horse for the try. In the past, if Rydel showed opposition to something (say, for example, an upward transition in the saddle) I would avoid doing it, I wouldn't push her because I didn't want to compromise our relationship. I figured it would come in time, I wanted it to be her idea. I don't think this was a wrong way of thinking, but I understand now that it was not the best thing for my horse. You see, in avoiding all the issues we would have when asking for higher gaits, I compromised my position as the best leader for my horse. So long as I use passive persistence in the proper position, anything I ask of my horse would be an appropriate amount to request her to try for me. So long as I keep myself centered and my emotions out of it, I should ask until my horse responds with the slightest try. 

That being said, the way you ask for the try will be different if the horse is left or right brain at the moment. In my case, Rydel would buck or throw her head when asking for an upward transition to the canter. I first got off and assessed if it was pain, fear, or defiance and discovered online that it was the latter. Knowing it was a left brain behavior, I felt confident addressing the issue from the saddle. First I asked her to change gait using my focus, energy, a smooch, and then a tap on the rear with my hand. She would respond but would buck, spin, and stop in every effort to avoid actually going forward. In an effort to be more effective I grabbed my carrot stick and played plink, plink, keeping passive persistence in mind, I did not give up even when she bucked. I stayed calm and kept asking for her to find the right answer. After all, we are still playing the seven games, right? It was a long, painful few minutes as Rydel tried all the tactics that had worked for her in the past to avoid going forward, until finally she cantered a few strides without protest. And that was it. We ended the ride. Rydel licked and chewed after our ride, but it was me who had more to think about after our ride. I've said constantly that I want to be the best I can be for my horse. Well, unlocking this part of the leadership, relationship, partnership puzzle is one huge step closer to achieving that goal. :)

Rydel and me when I was in High School, we've come so far!

Good, Better, Best...

Since my time spent at the 3/4 clinic, I have been actively working to better myself and my riding in particular. I've learned that my horse is capable of performing at a higher level and it is myself who needs to work up to that level of capability. I know that my riding is far from perfect, but I have really been working on using my whole body- focus, seat, and legs- rather than relying so much on my reins for control during the ride. I know Rydel prefers to have her head and not be micromanaged and it makes me feel much more connected to her to be able to communicate using primarily my seat and legs. I have posted a video demonstrating how I have begun to prepare for bridleless riding. As you will notice I use the "helicopter cheat" that Jesse taught me at the clinic. This is mostly for my benefit as it helps me remember to engage my whole body including my shoulders for turns. It is also helpful in case I need to use my stick to reinforce where I want her to go. My goal is to get better and better each week so that eventually I don't have to use the helicopter technique, and then don't have to use the stick, and then am able to achieve the same precision at higher gaits. Here's the video. It may be easier to view on youtube directly here!

In the past few weeks I've been trying to find ways to make riding fun for both of us. One of those ways has been to branch out and ride outside the arena. It's helped provide an area that's more fun to canter in and does not require quick turns. (Sorry for the semi-blury pics).

Putting Principles to Purpose- Freestyle

It's time for some much needed updates!

Now that Rydel is becoming a pro at stepping towards me for mounting, I have been playing around with freestyle riding a lot more. Saturday I had another fantastic lesson with Juli Piovesan during which time I  had some major "aha! moments"on the ground that I think will help decode some of our problems in the saddle. However, it's freestyle that I want to talk about today, and during the lesson we also worked on riding the follow the rail pattern with a lot of transitions, direct and indirect rein turns, and neutral lateral flexion to stop. Our focus was on helping Rydel really understand the pattern we were asking her to maintain (i.e. her responsibility). We also focused on teaching me to really use my phases starting with the most subtle in order to be the most effective teacher possible and to not constantly rely on the reins (i.e. my responsibility).

Practicing the "pattern" of the squeeze game during our lesson. 

A few weeks ago I wrote about putting principles to purpose online (you can read about it here). Well, the same concepts are true about freestyle; putting a purpose to the ride helps to give your horse a reason to play the seven games in the saddle. Making it a game, such as "don't make me have to correct you on this pattern," or "don't make me close one more finger on my rein," or "you don't want to stand still? Ok, let's trot" uses reverse psychology to achieve your desired outcome and keeps it interesting for your horse. Likewise, playing with the same patterns and games during freestyle riding as you would online allows the horse to link what they learned on the ground to the saddle, making your rides more effective teaching tools for the horse. Especially for right brain horses, giving them a job or a purpose, "go from point a to point b at the trot and stop in the corner," helps to teach them responsibility and how to learn to act like a partner instead of a prey animal.

Viewing my rides this way has really helped fill in the missing link for how to transition from the ground to the saddle. It has helped me be able to have a plan for my rides rather than to just get on and mindlessly travel around the arena, without giving my horse much to think about in terms of maintaining her own responsibility. I believe this is going to set us up for success for riding in bigger and unfamiliar places and for transitioning to finesse in the future!!

Happy ears after a great ride! :D

Putting Principles to Purpose- Online

I know it's been a while, but such is the life of a college student about to enter finals. I wanted to post a quick update about what we've been working on lately, though. I've been really excited to get moving on our level 2 freestyle especially since I have been watching a ton of videos about it for inspiration. However, Rydel has been having issues with the mounting block and being relaxed as I get on and off and I decided that I have been ignoring it long enough.

Pat talks about putting principles to purpose and giving your horse a task or reason to be playing the games. At a smaller level, the games are used to center and relax your horse and build her confidence. There comes a point though, when you need to start getting more creative- and I believe this is the point many people start to see breakthroughs. Pat uses the example of working with horses from on top of his mare, Magic. At that point she understood that she had to work with Pat as a partner in order to teach the horse on the ground. It was no longer just playing the driving or the circling game, the games had a purpose!

With that in mind, I began revising the dreaded sideways toward the fence (or in my case, the mounting block) using our sideways game as a tool to move toward the block and position herself for mounting. I used my phases and as soon as she stepped toward the block I quit, if she tried to step away, I would make the wrong thing difficult. It took about five minutes for her to really start understanding what I wanted. When she stood still by the block I rewarded her for a long period of time, quit, and moved on to something else. After the next couple of days it didn't take long before she was quickly moving toward the block and standing there while I rubbed her back and neck and mimicked laying on her back. :)

It's not perfect, but eventually I would like to build up her confidence with just having me lay on her or just sit on her. I think friendly game is the key- If I can build her confidence here I think the rest of our riding issues will fall into place!