Balancing Learning with Doing

So for those who don't know me personally, my boyfriend, Evan and I bought a farm this past May (cue fanfare!). While that has been very exciting, these first few months haven't left much time for horse-play. 

Our new place!

So, yesterday, for the first time since we moved into our new farm, I got to ride my 5 year old American Bashkir Curly, Lilah on our own property. It was certainly an invigorating experience, riding my horse on my farm! But, it also left me feeling the need to do more. You know, to dig out the dvds, to take more courses, to study more, to be better for my horse. And, while this is incredibly admirable and normal for those of us who follow the "never ending self-improvement" mantra, it can also be paralyzing to actual improvement. 

So, how can the act of learning to be better at horsemanship actually hinder improvement in horsemanship? I know, it does sound crazy! But, here's what I have discovered to be true (at least for myself):

It is easy to get caught up in the mindset that we don't know enough to be effective or to get to where we want to be with our horsemanship. Sometimes, this is reality and sometimes this is in our head. When it is reality, a lack of skills and knowledge drives us to seek out other answers. When it is in our head, a lack of confidence drives us to focus on learning more. On face, these two situations are not necessarily a bad thing as they both lead us to the same result: more knowledge. However, the hindrance comes when we are in process of learning which can cause us to become aware of how much more we do not know, which in turn can cause a greater lack of confidence. Likewise, learning happens outside our comfort zone, and it can feel pretty awkward and embarrassing to practice what we are trying to learn, which again, can hurt our confidence. Pretty soon, it becomes easier and easier to hide in the house rather than actually go out and trying some of these things with our horse! 

Sometimes we perpetuate the cycle with "retail therapy", which can make us feel really great at first. We feel like we are progressing.We think to ourselves, "I'll just buy this new rope, and then, when it comes, then I will be fully equipped to go out and try this new thing with my horse." 

Now, don't get me wrong, as Pat says, attitude, knowledge, tools, techniques, time, imagination, and support are the keys to success. So, I certainly don't want to de-emphasize the importance of good equipment, but the point is that each one of these keys can aid in our success or be excuses for not getting out there and doing things with our horse. I'll be the first to admit, I have used almost all of these as excuses. (I'm too busy, or not creative enough, etc.)

As with all things, we need to find a balance between learning and doing. We will always be our harshest critic. But your horse is not going to judge you for giving it your best shot and using the skills and knowledge you have in that given moment. Doing, practicing, being with our horses is the only way we are going to get truly better with horses. No more hiding behind the guise of learning, it's time to get out there and do it. Yes, we are going to look silly at first, but we will learn, and when we come back to our dvds and courses, when we know better, we can do better. 

Savvy on!

Melissa 

Positive, Progressive, and Natural!

As we ring in 2014, I cannot get away with not talking about my goals for this new year. I have decided to set myself up for success this year and keep my goals simple and attainable. I was recently reading 3-Star Parelli Instructor, Jake Biernbaum's newsletter in which he reminded me to keep working on my horsemanship, keeping the phrase "positive, progressive, and natural" in mind. What a perfect theme on which to base my goals for 2014 (thanks, Jake)!

2014 Horsemanship Goals

1) Seek out more support to keep a positive attitude throughout my journey

2) Teach my horse something new every month to stay progressive

3) keep it natural, always!

What are your horsemanship goals for 2014? Feeling stuck? Take a look at the eight principles below to help you generate ideas!

Note: This photo is property of Parelli Natural Horsemanship.

Shout-Out To The Parelli Central Blog

A few months ago, I submitted a blog post to the Parelli Central team about a mental breakthrough I had conceptualizing my progress with Rydel. At the time, it made a lot of sense for me to hash out my thoughts on paper, but I didn't really expect much to come of it. Well, today I received notification that my submission has been posted on the Parelli Central Blog! I am honored, excited, and a little embarrassed! Of course, I feel like my writing does not have much universal clarity. After all, I had mostly been writing for my own sake, to sort out all my thoughts and emotions. But, nevertheless I am absolutely thrilled to make my first major mark on the Parelli social media world, and I can assure you, it will not be my last!

View The Post Here!

The Tour Stop that started it all!

Perfect Landing

This past weekend Evan and I made the 8 hour trip east to move myself, some of our things, and our horses to my new (and Evan's old) home in Pennsylvania. It was a long drive for us, and even longer for the horses, but we all eventually made it safe and sound and had an absolutely "perfect landing" when the horses stepped off the trailer in their new Oxford, PA home for the first time. Rydel was a little stiff (as to be expected) but back nicely off the trailer and just stood and waited for me to give her the next cue. I slowly walked her into her outdoor dry lot which had been set up for the night with hay, water, and fresh straw bedding in their run-in. I gave her a good once over and hit some of her acupressure points to help ease her pain. After Lilah got off the trailer and we squared up with JD Hughes, our amazing transport driver, our barn owner said something that I wouldn't have expected. She said... "Never have I ever seen two horses step off the trailer and act so calm and comfortable here." With a smile, I looked at Evan and knew he was thinking the same exact thing, It's all thanks to Parelli! Our horses are adaptable, they act like partners, and they look to us as their leaders to tell them whether they should be nervous in their new environment. Evan and I were well prepared for the moment they would step off the trailer and in being centered ourselves, we allowed our horses to be centered as well.

We allowed our horses to settle in overnight, and I was amazed to find two perfect partners waiting for us the next morning right at the gate ready to greet us! We took the opportunity to spend some undemanding time before letting them out in their pasture for the first time. They both walked about 5 feet before stopping to graze, and meeting their over the fence neighbor was a non event. Deciding they were content, we left for about an hour to pick up supplies at a local feed and tack store. One we returned, as we walked through their dry lot and over to the gate that leads to their pasture, we saw four ears perk up over the hill. Rydel had been grazing next to Lilah who decided life is much easier when you can graze from the ground!

We then allowed our horses to catch us and escorted them into the barn for the first time. Again our barn owner was amazed to see them walk so calmly around the unfamiliar territory of the farm. As we walked, I kept checking to see how connected Rydel was to me by stopping and seeing how much it took to get her to stop with me. Once inside, Rydel confidently put her nose on the stall doors, horse blankets, and even the clock! She backed confidently into the wash rack before getting to explore the magnificent indoor arena.

Having the large indoor to ourselves, Evan and I decided to let the horses off their leads to play at liberty, and we had such a great time! Both Rydel and Lilah stuck to us at the walk and trot all around the arena as we explored the mirrors, jumps, and mounting block. Even as the barn owner opened the large doors to the indoor exposing us to the open barn leading to the outside, Rydel's attention to me never faltered and she stayed with me the entire time completely at liberty!

I'm so happy to have such wonderful horses! And I'm convinced that our prior and proper preparation with Parelli has allowed this transition to a new state to be a purely positive experience!

Their Story

A while back I posted about how my boyfriend got his very first horse, Lilah Rose. Well, this is their story...

Evan has always been allergic to horses (in fact, the first day I came home from the barn and stepped in the house he began sneezing immediately as I walked in the door!) but as he became more and more interested in horses and natural horsemanship, we started researching possible options for him. Naturally, we came across the only hypo-allergenic breed in existence, the American Bashkir Curly Horse. Relatives to America's Mustangs, Curly Horses are a rare breed. Eventually, Evan's horse fever got this best of him, and his parents knew they were going to have to do something about it. After doing a lot of research and promising his parents he would make an appointment with an allergy specialist, Evan was finally given permission to buy a curly horse of his own.

Unfortunately, Curlies who have had any formal training or have been in the show ring are very expensive, so our only choices within price range were untrained brood mares or babies. So, despite Pat's famous saying of "green on green, makes black and blue," I pushed for getting a "fresh canvas", rather than a horse who has altered opinions of humans. Lucky for us, we found Silver Storm Farm in Tennessee who seemed to have exactly what we were looking for. The choice was between a 1.5 year old mischievous colt, and a slightly younger sweet little filly. It became clear during observation that Lilah is an introvert, but Left or Right brain we weren't totally sure. Regardless, she stole Evan's heart, loaded perfectly and took the 9 hour ride back to Ohio like a champ!

It didn't take long to figure out the Lilah is a LBI/LBE cusp. She has so much energy but only wants to use it if it's her idea! Evan began teaching her the 7 games and soon enough she had them learned and was figuring out ways to get out of them. She was smart, and we knew we had to increase our knowledge if we were going to keep up. This June Evan decided to participate in the Level 1/2 clinic with Jesse Peters. It was such a great decision and a huge confidence builder for Evan.

Focusing on learning

A private lesson with Marie

Using phases effectively.

The bareback pad is a non-issue.

Her headband says "princess" :)

Post clinic, we are focusing on the basics and getting Evan prepared for his level 1 audition. Lilah has already learned so much, I am so excited to see just how far they will go in the future!!

Good, Better, Best...

Since my time spent at the 3/4 clinic, I have been actively working to better myself and my riding in particular. I've learned that my horse is capable of performing at a higher level and it is myself who needs to work up to that level of capability. I know that my riding is far from perfect, but I have really been working on using my whole body- focus, seat, and legs- rather than relying so much on my reins for control during the ride. I know Rydel prefers to have her head and not be micromanaged and it makes me feel much more connected to her to be able to communicate using primarily my seat and legs. I have posted a video demonstrating how I have begun to prepare for bridleless riding. As you will notice I use the "helicopter cheat" that Jesse taught me at the clinic. This is mostly for my benefit as it helps me remember to engage my whole body including my shoulders for turns. It is also helpful in case I need to use my stick to reinforce where I want her to go. My goal is to get better and better each week so that eventually I don't have to use the helicopter technique, and then don't have to use the stick, and then am able to achieve the same precision at higher gaits. Here's the video. It may be easier to view on youtube directly here!

In the past few weeks I've been trying to find ways to make riding fun for both of us. One of those ways has been to branch out and ride outside the arena. It's helped provide an area that's more fun to canter in and does not require quick turns. (Sorry for the semi-blury pics).

It's A Brand New Year.

Thinking back on 2011 has made me realize just how far Rydel and I have truly come. As I was going through old Facebook posts one day, I came across the date that I moved Rydel down to Columbus with me: September 14, 2010. It's amazing to think it has only been a little over a year that I have had her here with me, but what's even more amazing is the fact that my first lesson with Jesse was August 28, 2011- Almost an entire year since Rydel came to Columbus- and that was really where it all came together for us. From that day forward, the rest of 2011 had become a whirlwind adventure full of horsemanship, an incredible new friendship, and consistent improvement.

The Holidays flew by with a blur but were wonderful and relaxing as always (Ok, they were a little busy too considering I have not had a chance to update on here). Anyhow, I received a fantastic gift from Emily, an engraved leather bracelet that bears the phrase "live your dream", an incredibly symbolic and appropriate gift with which to start out the New Year.

As cheesy as it sounds, this bracelet reminds me that I have the ability to hold my dreams in my hand, to take charge of my life and stop making excuses for myself. My new years resolution is to never lose sight of my dream with natural horsemanship, to always strive to reach my goals and to never settle for less than better than best. I love that Emily has one too, reminding us that we are in this ride together as best friends, personal cheerleaders, and horse lovers.

I am so excited for whatever this year will bring, and I'm sure it will be full of surprises but it will also be a year of living my dream and building on that dream and making it bigger. I'm ready for some incredible transformations in my relationship with my horse and in my life in general! 2012, BRING IT ON!
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And of course, I didn't forget. Here is my Natural New Year's Resolution #3: Make the Switch! Whenever possible, switch to organic products. I have always used organic cleaning products such as Greenworks dish detergent, but I also just recently switched my makeup and makeup brush to all organic products. I recommend Physicians Formula Organic Wear and Covergirl Natureluxe products. Let me know what organic products you love!

A Journey Begins With A Single Step

Where do I even begin?

My intrigue with horses started when I was in kindergarten, a friend of mine had a collection of Breyer horses we would play with in her room. At the time, I was extremely interested in naming and personifying the plastic horses, rendering me virtually unaware of my subtle socialization into the horse world. While I was playing, I was also learning about horses. I learned their breeds and colors, and I also learned, via stories from my kindergarten friend's mother, that horses could be loyal friends, partners, if you will. And at the very least, I believed horses were "cool". As I progressed in school however, horses did not play very much of a role in my life. One particular person, however, did play a very significant role in my life, her name is Cecelia, she was my first friend from pre-school, and she is my best friend. In the end, it was Cece who lead me back into the horse world with the brilliant idea of attending the YMCA horseback riding summer camp in the 4th grade. A few days at camp and I was into horses for good.

Fast-forward a few more years to 7th grade, during which time Cece and I joined 4H at Pegasus Therapeutic Riding Center. It was pretty much the only 4H group close to our houses and we learned a great deal about horses. We also learned about compassion and equality as we were expected to volunteer at the therapeutic riding center. I absolutely loved working there- mucking stalls and leading horses- what a life! Of course, in time, it left me wanting a horse of my own, particularly as everyone was taking their horses to shows and the county fair. Yet, little did I know, 4H was about to change my life in a much more profound way. Late in my 4H career our group had somehow managed to get tickets to see Pat and Linda Parelli perform at their tour stop in Columbus, Ohio. Anyone who wanted to go could do so, for free! The only rule was that we must wear our 4H attire to designate our status as a club. I sat in the expo center in absolute astonishment. Pat, Linda, and their crew were not training horses, they were understanding them! It was an incredible experience. In those two short days I was a full fledged believer in natural horsemanship. Parelli was the key! The next step was to find myself a horse!

Sometime toward the end of my 8th grade year, my father had to go on a business trip to Kentucky. Knowing we would be around the Kentucky Horse Park, my mother and I were invited to go along for a mini vacation. The sheer magnificence of the Park simply could not compare to the magnificence of the car ride home. I will never forget that car ride, it was the time my dad finally agreed to let me get a horse! I was elated! Countless dreamhorse.com searches and visits to farms led me to the love of my life, my equine partner and teacher, Rydel. Being an unbroken arabian, everyone thought I was crazy for getting her. And it's true, there were so many clues that should have steered me away from her. (Take her unwillingness to step through a tiny (I mean tiny!) puddle on the ground, for example). But there was no convincing me otherwise, I wanted her. My dad was the first to detect how smart she is. At the same time, it was only a matter of days before we all detected how scared she was! I had my hands full, but despite ridicule, funny looks, and questions like "why don't you just get on that horse and ride?", I stayed true to the Parelli program and was able to work through Rydel's immense fear of people and saddling. She was not a confident horse, but at least she trusted me.

With little support from fellow horse people, it took me a very long time to work my way through level one. Rydel was extremely challenging for me, something I did not care to admit, and I slowly got more and more frustrated and discouraged. Eventually it was to the point that I would make excuses to not go to the barn. If I did go, I would only groom or walk around with her. In high school, I threw myself headfirst into my social life and Speech and Debate. I left little time for my horse and even less time for building an actual relationship with her. It appeared as though I was losing interest in my horse, but in reality, I was just scared. My interests in politics and International Relations lead me to attend The Ohio State University. My time as a freshman in college was spend entirely without my horse. It was this distance that I believe saved my relationship with my horse, and I am so eternally grateful that my parents didn't give up on me and kept Rydel for all those years of figuring things out.

The summer after my freshman year of college, I made a vow to return to the world of natural horsemanship and to pursue a happy and healthy relationship with my horse. I was determined to make it work, which is why, after completeling my summer internship in Pennsylvania, I made the decision to bring Rydel to Columbus. To start over. It was the best decision I ever could have made. In the two years I have had Rydel at school with me, we have made more progress than we have in the five years I had her prior. She still challenges me, but now, I challenge her as well. I learn from my little mare every day, and I am so incredibly grateful that she never gave up on me. She is incredibly forgiving, and I am determined to continue on this journey full steam ahead, never looking back.