Completely Confident: Creating A Confident Horse in 5 Areas

Lilah Rose is confident in herself, naturally curious, and always in you face!

As an owner of a right brained horse who is naturally inclined to be insecure, I think and talk about building confidence a lot. However, what does it really mean to have a truly confident horse? How do we know that we are setting our horse up for success in every situation? These are questions that I didn't even know to ask until recently.

A few months ago, we moved the horses to a new barn that is much closer to where we live. Prior to the move, we had been dealing with some serious separation anxiety between our two horses. Whenever we would take one out of sight of the other, they would get very right brained and emotional, especially our curly horse, Lilah. Now, after enduring the tribulations of being uprooted, our horses are more bonded than ever. Just when I was starting to feel lost about how to approach dealing with the times we want to separate our horses, I happened to pick up and watch a DVD that was a game changer for the way I think about my horse's confidence and is the key to tackling the separation anxiety.

In the video, Linda Parelli matter-of-factly explained that as a good horse person, it is my responsibility to  build my horse's confidence in five areas:

1) In myself as a leader
2) In his or herself
3) In the herd
4) In the environment
5) In learning situations

Say it with me now - "Hmm, how interesting!" I had never thought about gaining my horse's confidence in each of these areas before. In fact, now I understand why it is possible for our very left brained curly horse, who is very confident in herself, to be unconfident in new environments, because we really haven't focused on building her confidence in this area specifically. Additionally, I want to point out that the areas of confidence are compounding. For example, in a familiar environment, with the herd around, and me as a leader, my horse might have total confidence. But in a new environment, without the security of the herd, my horse might lose confidence in me as a leader, and if he is not confident in his own ability to take leadership, then you might have a mess on your hands. This is not the greatest example, but hopefully you get the idea of how each area of confidence has the potential to impact the others. You cannot ignore the ones that pose challenges. Alternatively, you can utilize your strengths to aid you in the areas in which your horse has less confidence.

It is our job to build our horse's confidence in each area to help our horse become more mentally and emotionally centered.

Eventually, if I've done my job correctly, my horse will have confidence in me as a leader, and in himself which will allow him to have confidence in our herd of two in any environment or learning situation. It is my challenge to you to work on building confidence in each of the five areas, I know I will be!

Be The Leader

I've had a lot of food for thought to chew on lately along with a few decisions to make and I've come to some very important conclusions. Ever since the Parelli tour really demonstrated just how introverted I am, especially when it comes to holding in my emotions, I've been thinking a lot about how being introverted effects my ability to be a good leader for my horse. Online I can generally control my emotions and be the leader my horse needs, but lately I've noticed that during our rides its hard for me to stay focused be able to give clear direction, especially at higher gaits.

So, keeping in mind the fourth Principle of Horsemanship: Horses and humans have mutual responsibilities, the goal for this week is to work on becoming the leader my horse needs me to be which means learning to control my emotions and come out of my shell enough to be assertive and effective. I am
in charge of our success together and Rydel is counting on me to be her leader. I think this little attitude change will go a long way and help us both gain the confidence needed to move on. :)

Rydel loves her scratches :)

Finding (True) Neutral

I want to discuss something that has been on my mind lately and has become a new personal challenge for me, and that is finding my true neutral. When it comes to horsemanship, Pat always says "it's the release that teaches" and going back to neutral is a reward for your horse. Furthermore, going to neutral can help your horse learn to maintain his/her own responsibility. When you are riding and you hands are in neutral it means you are no longer micromanaging your horse with the reins, you have given him a cue and now it is his responsibility to follow through with the objective. The same goes for games on the ground. The circling game is the best example, we ask the horse to maintain gait, and maintain direction, while we stay in neutral until the we ask the horse to make a change, either to come in or to switch directions. Neutral is so important in these cases because it helps clarify what you expect of the horse, which enhances your leadership as a result, and it also helps build confidence for your horse!

So what does true neutral look like, and how is it different from regular neutral!? Well, put simply, true neutral is the absence of all energy. In true neutral, absolutely no pressure is being put on the horse. While you may be saying "uh, yeah, that is what my neutral is all the time!" Think about this example, once when Emily and I were having a lesson, the Parelli Professional we were working with told Emily she needed to go into neutral while Sonny was on the circle. She was confused because she was just standing there passing the rope behind her back with the carrot stick at her side. However, our PP went on to explain that while she felt like she was in neutral, her body was still buzzing with energy, and even though she was passing the rope and not actively pushing her horse, she had not completely relaxed and gone into true neutral....WOW! This was a major observation, and I don't think I completely understood it until now.

So today, while playing the touch it game, I tried to really monitor my energy, keep my belly button positioned away from her, look away, and take all the energy out of my body when I wanted to be in neutral. Finding true neutral is my new challenge of the month and today I found it very difficult. It is even more difficult when riding as I'm finding I hold my breath a lot! I encourage you all go out and practice this, even practice it at home on the couch. The better we can control our energy, the better horsewomen and men we can become!

Classroom Wisdom.

I'll be finishing up my undergraduate degree in Public Affairs this spring, and I could not be more excited about that! One thing I am not very excited about though is going to my leadership class every tuesday and thursday. As you may or may not know, Public Affairs (much like political science) is a major that is full of "Type A" personalities- of people who want to be lawyers, work in government, and even run for political office. The people in my leadership class are no exception. In fact, given the structure of the class, there always seems to be competition to be the most effective "leader" of the group. When I was in grade school and high school I thrived on academic excellence, on answering questions, and being singled out and put into classes for "enriched" and "gifted" students. I was confident in my abilities and I always lead group projects.

But things are different now. I've realized one thing, I am a leader among followers, but a follower among leaders. It was easy for me to take the lead and feel confident about my leadership when no one else jumped at taking the lead. But in my class, with every member of my group chomping at the bit to have things their way, I feel much more comfortable just sitting back and doing what I'm told. This is evident in my horsemanship as well, I have a right brained horse who needs leadership and rarely challenges me for authority. I feel comfortable settling into the role of leader for my horse. I am interested to see if I ever own a more dominant horse if I would have trouble maintaining leadership..(Hmmm!?...)

All in all, I think having "savvy"means having the ability to decide when to follow and when to lead, when to apply pressure and when to release. It's a balancing act, but it makes us better, more centered horsewomen in the end- and it obviously spills over into every aspect of our lives!