An Apology Letter

This is something that I never wanted to have to write, and yet it has become necessary. Last night, as I was playing with my boyfriend's super silly, and super smart, left brain extrovert/introvert mare, I was blindsided by a lesson I probably never would have learned from my willing and obedient right brain introverted gentle flower.

I have noticed for a few months now how discouraged Evan was becoming during his playtimes with Lilah (the left brain curly horse in question above). At first I would observe, offer advise when needed, and point him in the direction of professionals when my limited amount of knowledge wasn't enough. I thought I was doing the right thing by letting him navigate his journey with his horse on his own terms and timeline. However, as the weeks went by, I noticed Evan and Lilah had reached a stalemate and no progress was being made. Last night, I decided to assess the situation for myself and after a particularly wonderful session with my own horse, I offered to trade horses with Evan so he could feel what it is like to play and have fun, and I could gain some understanding as to what is going on in the head of that little, feisty, curly-haired horse of his.

Taking the rope in hand, I was awestruck by the horse I found at the other end. A by-the-book long phase one and quick two, three, four demonstrated a few things. First, this horse knew our game and was playing it one step ahead of us. Not only has our horse learned to be begrudgingly obedient at phase four, but she has also learned that she does not need to do anything until phase four comes, and she knows eventually it will come. So what did this scene turn out to look like? It ended up with a horse obediently following a figure-eight pattern but with absolute disdain for the pattern, for me, and for this whole "game". I found myself looking like a total idiot throwing out meagerly effective long phase ones and quick phase fours at the regular to keep this horse moving on a pattern and all the while HATING it. This poor horse did not see a purpose to the pattern, did not see what was in it for her, and yet was being forced into it by a seemingly harmless strategy I had learned in the Parelli program that was working but not making it fun for either of us....How interesting.

Thus begins my wake up call: Parelli Natural Horsemanship is not cookie cutter. My apology is to our horse for being too much of a direct line thinker, for believing that because she is left brain, I MUST employ certain strategies and that these strategies WILL work. Last night, I was reminded of a certain cowboy Parelli instructor insisting that "there are no rules, just eight principles" and it is our responsibility to seek out the strategies that use these principles to find what is best for our individual horse. It is our responsibility to maintain their dignity and to always put them first. And I can assure you, as I have lived it first hand, that if the strategies you are using make you feel like you are wailing on your horse with a semi-flexible stick or that the sound of you slapping the ground with a string is reverberating around the arena every five minutes, or if you are even remotely embarrassed to have someone watching you during this whole process, you're doing it wrong. 

So this morning, I will eat a big slice of humble pie, and be the first to tell you that I was doing it wrong with a very forgiving, very intelligent horse, who has been trying to tell us this for a long time, and I was too dense to see it. This is my apology to her, and to my boyfriend for not seeing that with some horses, you might need to think outside the box, to work smarter and not harder, and I know I will get a lot of flack for this from other Parelli people, but I don't see any purpose in having to "go there", to phase four with a horse that GETS it. This is not to say I will never use this strategy again, but upping my phases to get what I want is not going to be my go to game with a horse this smart.

I promise to work smarter, to use strategies that show this horse what's in it for her and to get her excited again about being and playing with us. No, I don't have all the answers, but I certainly am planning to think outside the box for a while. My first plan is to use more rewards at the slightest try and work up from there. My hope is that constant reward at the slightest try will keep her offering more and allow me to not have to use higher phases to force her into it. She KNOWS what we want, the key is to get her to WANT to do it.

In closing, let me be absolutely clear, this is not an indictment of the Parelli program, nor is it an indictment of any of their strategies as I am absolutely loyal to their program and see a time and a place for all their strategies if used at the proper time and in the proper position. Instead, I hope you will take the lesson that I learned and apply it to your own journey with this understanding: the horse and his dignity comes first. Using the eight principles, it is our job to build a relationship and a language with our horse that allows him to maintain such dignity while he betrays all natural instincts as a prey animal and forms a harmonious partnership with the ultimate predator.

Pattern Positivity!

With the way things have been going with work recently, my weekday horse time has been more abbreviated than i would normally prefer. Tonight we had an appointment with the farrier for both Rydel and Lilah and I was determined to maximize my time. Rydel got her pedicure first, and while Lilah was getting her tootsies worked on, I decided to take Rydel into the arena to have some fun.

I hadn't planned on riding, but Rydel was quite calm and connected so I decided to hop on bareback and instantly, I had a plan- we were going to play with responsiveness using the corners game. Now, before you start piling on the praise for my ability to quickly assess the situation and make a plan for how to fix it, I must admit that the idea was not mine. A few months ago I submitted my level 2 freestyle audition (viewable here) and when I received my results (level 2++ pass!), the assessor suggested using the corners game to work up to cantering consistent laps.

Anyhow, with this plan in mind, I intentionally did not tie my rope into reins. With only one rein for emergencies, I was forced to focus on how I was using my body to cue my horse. Once I was able to ride the rail at the walk without having to use many corrections, I introduced the corners game. To reinforce the pattern, we started at the walk and stopped at every corner. Each time, I tried to be very conscious of my energy and body language, and overly exaggerated my stops by exhaling deeply and trying to release all the energy from my body. As I did this, Parelli Professional, Don Jessop's words were ringing in my head...  Your energy should be like a light switch, either on or off, there should be no in-between. Alternatively, when I would ask her to go again, I tried to increase my energy and bring my life up in my body so that Rydel could clearly feel the difference. I kept stopping at every corner for three or four laps until she really understood the pattern, making sure that the corners provided a lot of reward in the form of rest and scratches. Next, rather than changing the pattern up (ie: alternating the corner at which we stop to keep my horse interested an guessing) I decided to keep the pattern consistent for my right brain horse, but alternate the gait instead.

Using the consistency of the pattern for reinforcement- every corner means stop - I asked Rydel to pick up a trot on the short sides of the arena and maintain a walk on the long sides. Pretty soon, she was putting more and more effort into getting to each corner and she was offering to trot on the long sides as well. Hmmm, how interesting! What was even cooler, was that I was able to use her putting effort into staying on the pattern (her responsibility) to focus on my responsibility of keeping my focus and managing my energy to affect her responsiveness. By the end of our session, all I had to do was exhale to get her to stop which was reinforced by the pattern of stopping in the corner, and bring my energy up in my body to get her to go again!

Many lights went off in my head tonight, and I am really seeing the value in patterns. Previously, I had been so preoccupied with perfecting the patterns that I missed their true potential. Now I see that I can use patterns to reinforce something that I am teaching, such as increased responsiveness off my body language and energy alone! I can't wait to start using the patterns to teach and reinforce even more concepts!

Gaining Wait

"This is the only horsemanship program in the world where we ask our students to gain more weight"... Huh? Did 3* Parelli Professional, Don Jessop just tell me I need to gain weight? I mean, I know I'm a little on the skinny side, but...

"Not weight, but wait, w-a-i-t! We don't do this enough with our horses and definitely not in a clinic setting"

...

(Lightbulb!) 

     A few weeks ago, Evan and I took the day off work, packed up the horses, and spent a full eight hours devoted to bettering our horsemanship at liberty. 3* Parelli Professional, Don Jessop was in the area for a canter clinic he was to be teaching that weekend in Harrisburg, and while I had never met Don before, I jumped at the chance to brush up on the one Savvy I knew the least about, Liberty.

     In the morning, Don told us his story and asked us our goals for the day. He informed us that while we would try a lot of new things in this clinic and gain many strategies for bettering our Liberty Savvy and connection with our horses, he also wanted us to perfect one thing at Liberty that we could later show off to the class. I was intrigued by this approach of setting us up for both long and short-term success. We started off with some horseless simulations and then settled in to lunch where we learned more about Don and his teaching style. Don told us that there are no rules, just principles, the 8 Parelli Principles to be exact, and his goal is to help us use these principles to find what is right for us and our horses. 

     When we brought our horses into the arena, Don had us work on the yo-yo game to immediately establish respect in a new area. We needed to assert ourselves as leaders, and Don challenged us to have straight, snappy back-ups without using our ropes. Next, we did something that just about blew my mind. Don asked us to spread out around the arena and focus on finding our horse's itchy spots and really dig deep to find the one thing that they truly love! For about five minutes, the class rubbed and loved on their horses and a calm began to fall over everyone. After ten minutes, Rydel was blowing out and yawning like I have never seen before! (Is is now a big savvy arrow in my quiver and I use it often to get her to become calmer quicker!) And just when I thought, we surly should be moving on to something else now, Don asked us to keep loving on our horses. As Parelli students, we need to learn to gain more wait time with our horses. Time to establish rapport and connection with our horse. To create a reason for them to want to be with us, and to want to try for us. After all, the Seven Games are only fun when both horse and human are engaged and trying, not when they become the seven jobs or the seven makes. 

     After about twenty minutes of doing nothing but loving on our horses and scratching their itchy spots, Don told us that the calm that we just witnessed is the level at which he likes to keep all his clinics and that we can achieve a lot while staying at that level of calm with our horse. As we went through the day, we all noticed there was a clear sequence that Don was trying to help us learn and it goes like this:

1) Establish respect (yo-yo game is an easy way to test this)

2) Establish rapport (this is a friendly game most people forget about. It can also be used as a reward or release for staying connected or coming back "home" at Liberty)

3) Grow your horse's confidence (find something your horse does not like and play with that- the more commonly used friendly game)

4) (I honestly cant remember the exact word here but I think it was Impulsion or Refinement- someone help me out!)

After going through this sequence, we were all set up for success with a calm, connected, and responsive horse! All in all, it was pretty amazing as we practiced being Online as if we were at Liberty and then practiced being at Liberty as if we were Online. By the end of the day, all eight horses were at Liberty and with their human. It was humbling and beautiful! 

A partial panorama from the clinic

Here are a few other tips we learned: 

• Repeat something until your horse "GETS IT" and know what this looks like. 
• The speed at which you do your corrections matters.
• When a horse leaves you, his mind leaves first. Look for when the mind leaves and correct that, before the feet ever have a chance to leave. (Speed here matters, and we played a game called "come home" where we would watch for their eyes to disconnect and then ask them to come home by bringing them into the other eye- the one that left first. I can try to post a video for anyone interested). 
• Practice being at Liberty by putting the halter around your horses neck rather than his or her head. 
• Be aware of your energy, it should either be on or off. 
• When playing the circling game, you must know exactly how many circles you want from the beginning, or else it is a game your horse cannot win. 
• If the horse leaves you, repeat the exercise that caused him to leave, use a halter if you must, if a horse leaves three times you are training him to do it. 

"The Success of Your Horse" on the Parelli Central Blog

I have recently had a blog post featured on the Parelli Central Blog...Enjoy!

Click here to go to the blog!

Send Me On My Way

Evan recently got the new iPhone 5S, so of course we had to test it out on the horses. Here is a little video I put together using the new phone. Enjoy!

EDIT: Video was removed, please use link below

(Or view on youtube using this link).

Work on Yourself, Play with Your Horse!

One of the things that differs Parelli from other training programs, is that it focuses on training the human rather than the horse. As the human, this is a very humbling experience, and requires an open mind from the start.

My first insight to the Parelli program was at a tour stop in Columbus, Ohio. One of the take-home messages of that tour stop was that there is no such thing as a bad horse or a problem horse, there are just people who lack the knowledge or savvy to effectively communicate with such horses. As a fourteen year old 4-H student, this blew me away. In the traditional horse world, people "work" their horses. In the Parelli world, we work on ourselves and play with our horses. As someone who has experienced both worlds, I can assure you that Parelli world is much more fun!

In focusing on ourselves, to learn the language of the horse and to become better partners, we take a lot of pressure off the horse and remove the us vs. them mentality that places the blame on the horse. Additionally, framing the session with our horse as play, rather than training or work, is largely for our benefit so that we enter the arena with the right attitude. Horses are instinctually motivated by the need to be safe and comfortable first, and once these needs are met, horses will play. Humans, on the other hand, see working or training a horse as a means to an end. The end, or motivating factor for humans, is usually praise, recognition or, materials things. As a horse-person, it is okay to seek these things out, but a savvy horse-person ensures that the needs of his or her horse come first.

So, what you do have to look forward to in Parelli world? The answer is a beautiful journey of never ending self improvement for yourself that reaps lasting benefits for your horse.

Come see us on Parelli Connect and learn more about the Parelli program!

Like It Or Not, Progress.

In the past few months, a lot of things have changed in both my horsemanship and my life. I spent a lot of time just focusing on my relationship with Rydel and not worrying about having an agenda with her or worrying about how to translate our time together into blog posts. This was all pretty liberating for myself, but probably fairly boring for those of you who do (or did) follow my blog.

During this time off, however, I have been given the opportunity to reflect on my horsemanship journey, and more importantly, my attitude about my journey. First, I took some time to just slow down. In doing so, I learned that my horse has a lot to offer. From meeting me at the gate, to showing me where she wants to be scratched, to attempting to mutually groom with me (ouch!), to bucking and playing and jumping, it has been amazing to watch her grow into herself and open up more and more! This "slow down" period for us was relaxing and incredibly consistent. We ended up doing a lot of the same things everyday, practicing the things we were good at, and avoiding the things we are not. We are both Right Brain Introverts, after all, so it should not come as a surprise when I say we tended to stick within our comfort zone.

While we were progressing with our relationship and having some really great times together, it wasn't until a recent lesson with Parelli Professional, Jane Bartsch that i realized I wasn't being provocative enough. Jane challenged us with some zone 5 driving for our homework and taught us the beginning of long rein driving. I am excited to keep pushing our level of savvy to new heights! (Thanks, Jane!). In other exciting news, a few days after our lesson with Jane, we received word that Rydel and I passed our level 3 online audition! You can view the video Here. I intentionally waited to talk about it because I honestly thought we would fail on our circling game. I know it's not our absolute best, but I am pretty happy with the results.

Also during this time, I decided to apply for a demo spot at the Upper Marlboro, MD Horse and Soul Tour Stop. I wanted to challenge myself and provide some purpose for our play times. I decided to apply for the Psychology 101 demo with Linda, as I believe Rydel is a pretty classic RBI. Well, I finally finished the video, which I am excited to share with you all!. You can view it  on Youtube here!

So, what have I learned during this crazy adventure these last few months? I've learned that the phrase, never ending self improvement is not just a mantra on the days that we feel like it. Instead, we should be actively seeking out progress, in horsemanship and in life. This is not to say that we need to be constantly improving, per say. Maybe "progress" for you at this moment means having the savvy to know when to push yourself and when to take some reflective undemanding time. Whatever your action may be, it is progress as long as you are moving closer toward your goals. We owe it to ourselves and our horses to take an active role in achieving our goals and becoming the horsemen and women we want to be. My call to action for us all is this: Like it or not, progress!

Well, Look At That!

Was going to write something tonight, when I decided to check the Parelli Central Blog.... Guess I can save my thoughts for tomorrow! In the meantime, feel free to check this out! - Horsenality Isn't Exactly Common Knowledge

So It's Been A While...

I'm sure you have all probably forgotten what it looks like to have my blog pop up in your reading lists and dashboards, but alas, I am alive and humbly seeking forgiveness from disappearing for so long. I have no real excuse other than the fact that blogging has not been a priority lately. Well, today I'm hoping that will change, as I have lot's of exciting things to share with you.

Rewind back to the winter, it was cold but not miserable and Rydel and I were doing a lot of riding. I have never been a particularly confident rider, but the trust and confidence Rydel has gained in the last year has inspired the growth of confidence within myself, and with each day of playing with and riding Rydel, I felt more and more willing to try bigger and bolder things.

When I got Rydel eight years ago, she was totally green and terrified of being ridden. The day I went to trial her before the purchase, the owner lunged her for about 15 minutes, tied her up and forced the saddle on her. She could not be mounted without someone forcing her to stand still, and she was so agitated with the whole situation that she threw her head so violently that she flipped the reins over her head and literally flipped the bit completely over inside her mouth. Even after witnessing all that, I still did not comprehend what a challenge this horse would be for me. She has been my greatest challenge, a wonderful success, and most importantly, my best teacher.

This is a video of me riding Rydel back in February of this year (Link Below). The purpose of this video is not to show off any great skill or ability as a rider; there are many people who ride more gracefully properly than I do. Instead, I am proud of this video because of the confidence and trust we have both gained as partners. Never in a million years would I have expected to accomplish the things I am now accomplishing with my horse. This sweet little Arab has taught me to dream a little bigger every day! :)

(Here's the video link. I couldn't get it to upload directly!)