Sometimes you have to take a step backward in order to move forward.

This past week I have learned that looking at things with a fresh prospective can allow for immense improvement. Of course, sometimes gaining a new prospective means borrowing someone else's. One day, I was trying to figure out how to improve our "Stick to Me" game. I had worked on the friendly game in zones 2 and 3 so that Rydel would be comfortable with me walking next to her instead of leading her from the front, but for some reason we would always revert back to that position, with her behind me. After watching this for a few minutes, Emily suggested that I give Rydel a consequence for not sticking to me. So, the next time we tried it and Rydel fell behind me I waved my carrot stick behind me to cue her to catch up. It didn't take very long for her to catch on and soon we were completely connected. It was a simple fix but something that would have taken me much longer to figure out on my own.

Also, as I previously mentioned, I have been trying to video more of my play sessions in order to become more comfortable with the camera. What I've found is that watching my videos helps me see what I cant always see during sessions. Of course, it's sometimes difficult to critique oneself, which is why I was thrilled when one of the Savvy Club members watched my video and offered some practical advice. I won't bore you with all the details of the conversation but I am so grateful for the advice and information I received. The next time I played, a few parts of her advice crept into my consciousness. One of the things she helped me become more aware of is the fact the cues I give with my rope hand are often misleading. (For example, holding my hand up and out while asking for the sideways game is confusing because typically holding my hand out like that means go forward). The other piece of advice that stuck in my mind that day was that I should view our driving game as my bubble trying to move her bubble. Thinking about these two things I decided to take off the 22 foot lead and play at liberty as I was afraid of accidentally confusing my horse with my rope hand. As soon as we were at liberty I was absolutely ecstatic to find that our stick to me game was fantastic! Im so happy to have such a strong bond with my horse that Rydel actually wanted to be with me! She stuck to me for over an hour! Even at rest while I was talking with another horse owner at the barn (the perfect opportunity for her to walk off and distract herself with other things) she stayed right next to me, leg cocked, patiently waiting for my next cue! :D I couldn't have been happier to see the effects of a bond I had worked so long to build.

Here is some video from that night. Of course, I got kinda emotional once the camera went on so my focus is a little off and the video DOES NOT do the whole experience justice. As always comments are welcome and in an effort to critique myself I noticed the strange expression on my face, the fact that my headband is falling off, the fact that some of my cues/phases are way too strong than what would have been necessary, and my directions are not always clear. Rydel needs a strong leader and I don't always offer that. Lucky for me, she is understanding that I am learning too and I am so excited to keep improving for her!

Sometimes taking a step back means viewing yourself from the other side of the video camera.

Taking The Time It Takes

I decided to video again today and things went much better this time! I kept reminding myself that my video did not have to be perfect and it would give me a good indication of the things I need to work on and change for my actual audition video. Im pleased to note that our figure 8 is so much better these days! At the walk, i really only have to use phase one and rarely phase two, at the trot, it is much more phase two and she is still learning how to maintain gait but at least she recognizes the pattern. I wish you could have seen our first attempt at this video because this one is loads better!

Things we do well:

• Friendly Game- as a means of retreat
• Friendly Game- Helicopter
• Obstacles- two feet on pedestal, walk over tarp, jumps (not seen in video)

Things to work on:

• Stick to Me- walk, trot, backup
• Sideways Game- without a fence
• Figure 8 Pattern- at the trot

The video is to music I am considering using for my audition... Here's to progress!

"You've Turned Into A Mom From Toddlers and Tiaras"

One of Pat Parelli's many sayings resonates in my head as I write this, "Horses are like computers, they don't always do what you want but they always do what you tell them to do." Well, this blog post is about surrendering myself to humility as I explain how last night I indeed "turned into a mom from Toddlers and Tiaras" and how my horse definitely did what I told her to.

As always, I started my night at the barn with good intentions. I was planning on taking a practice level 2 audition video. I mostly wanted to document my progress and was planning on sending in a real audition later. But for some reason, I went completely direct line and felt the need to have the video be exactly as it would in a real audition. I had planned out my tasks but spent nearly 40 minutes obsessing over the very first one- the figure eight! I was so aware of the fact that I was on camera that I felt determined to make it perfect, almost as if it were a performance. I understand now that this was the absolute wrong way of looking at it, but the worst thing is I didn't even realize I was doing it! Before long, it became a vicious cycle of me getting uptight causing Rydel to be uptight. I was completely emotional and the exact opposite of a good horsewoman. As the session went on, I rarely took time for retreat, I didn't always set myself up for success by slowing things down or going back to the friendly game when it was broken. I am totally and completely ashamed of how handled (or didn't handle) things. It was like my horse knew her responsibility, do the routine (pattern) to the best of her ability, and I knew my responsibility, reward the slightest try and don't worry about perfection. And yet, there I was, a crazed pageant mom jumping around the audience dancing the routine and urging my child to not forget to smile. Talk about embarrassing. 

When I finally decided to call it a night, put Rydel back in her stall so she could eat her dinner, I could feel my blood pressure slowly starting to go back down. I apologetically groomed and loved on Rydel but I still left the barn feeling like I completely let her down. 

Im going back tonight without an agenda this time. I plan to be a much better partner for her and am going to focus on our relationship. In time, I know all other things will fall into place. :)

Play With the Horse That Shows Up.

"Make no assumptions," is one of the key tenants of Parelli Natural Horsemanship, and adherence to this principle requires responsibility on the part of both the human and the horse.

After the Play Day, Rydel had made so much progress, it was necessary to stay on track. To keep focus, I started taking lessons from two star instructor, Juli Piovesan. Juli helped me see exactly what I could not, my horse was not tuned into me, she would blow past me without giving two eyes when I would ask her to come in, and she was blowing over obstacles unconfidently, without asking questions. Well, hearing that seemed to do the trick because within a few weeks Rydel had completely changed! Once I changed the way I was asking her to do things by slowing it down and encouraging her ideas, Rydel gained so much confidence and even started to bring up her play drive during sessions! This was something I had never seen from her before and I was loving it! However, after so many fantastic play sessions, I started to forget that at the core of it all, I still have a right brained horse. Slowly, I began to expect that Rydel would be confident and playful all the time...Make No Assumptions.


About a week ago Rydel and I went into the outdoor arena to play- the first time we had both been out there together at our new barn. Assuming that she would be calm and confident as she had been for the past month or so, I began playing with her without really getting warmed up to our surroundings. I see now that everything was far too fast paced. We started playing the circling game and as she was cantering along one lap, two laps, thre-- BAM! She totally blew up, ripping the rope from my hands and galloping around the arena. After being jolted from my neutral position I realized two things. 1) A noise that sounded very much like consecutive gun shots (why hadn't I noticed that before?) and 2) While I was letting her canter she was getting more and more tense and thinking less and less. She must have gone inside herself without time for me to notice before it was too late. Even two laps can be mindless circling for an RBI. Lesson learned, make no assumptions.

So, today I played with the horse that showed up. The wind and rain pelting the metal walls of our indoor arena posed a threat, but I didn't let it bother me and made sure to keep Rydel busy. I decided I wanted to try getting her on a schedule for Hill Therapy and set up some barrel jumps at my 9 and 3 o'clock positions. Rydel was to circle me and jump the jumps for five minutes in each direction. Now, I should tell you I have not forgotten about my previous lesson in circling, but Hill Therapy requires a constant flow of motion, not a lot of stopping and starting to be effective. Not to mention, the obstacles would at least keep things a little interesting. After a few attempts at skirting around the barrels, Rydel finally learned I wanted her to jump them, and jump them she did! Before long she was flying over the jumps without asking questions or doing a lot of thinking. Taking a tip from Emily who had just dealt with her LBI plowing over jumps, I quickly disengaged Rydel and asked her to put her nose on the barrel, not to jump it. I swear her mind was blown! This time, it was my horse who was making assumptions. She thought seeing a barrel meant jump, no matter what, and this was not the case! The reverse psychology really worked and she suddenly had her ears fixed on me and was asking so many more questions- SCORE!

(My Teacher <3)

My horse is not predictable, and what I ask of her shouldn't be either. Consistency has its place, no doubt, but keeping her asking questions helps us both slow down and think things through. (Not to mention, it keeps me in charge!)

The Final Key To Success Is Support.

Until I made the decision to bring Rydel to Columbus, I didn't realize how much I was lacking in support. While my friends and family always had my back, it was nothing like having the support of fellow Parelli people who were going through or had been through the exact same trials and triumphs as I. My first taste of this kind of support was at the first barn I went to in Columbus. The barn owner practiced basic natural horsemanship and would have the barn members over for dinner on sundays to chat and watch the Savvy Club DVDs. At the time, I was satisfied with this as it was heaps more support than I was receiving previously. It was at that barn that I finally started to develop a relationship with my horse, an actual bond which I had never had before. I was happy that Rydel trusted me enough to be her leader and we were able to make a fair amount of progress, but it was far from our potential, and in the back of my mind I knew we were missing something. Nonetheless, I was overjoyed to have some horsey friends that didn't criticize my every move. Even if they didn't follow Parelli to the book, they helped me gain confidence in myself- something I desperately needed when it came to horses. You see, despite my understanding of natural horsemanship, I hadn't had a riding lesson since the 4th grade. I lacked total confidence in my riding and the only thing I feared more than cantering was going out of the arena.

Of course, just as Linda and Dr. Stephanie Burns had said, the only way to truly learn and progress is to step out of your comfort zone; Easier said, than done! Finally, one day my friends told (not asked) me that we were going on a short trail ride down the road. We were going out of the arena, off the property, down the road, to a cornfield and then back. Being the Introvert that I am, I had to make a choice: go and leave the comfort of my arena, or stay and be ALONE! In the end, the prospect of being without my "herd" of friends was too much, and before I knew it I was riding out the gate to the property. Slowly and shakily I rode down the road toward the cornfield complete with passing cars. (At this point, I feel compelled to point out that I was the only one riding in a rope halter.) Before I knew it, we were riding out of the field and back up the road to the property of the barn. I couldn't believe I was actually riding on the road, and my little arabian was handling things like a champ! That was a real turning point for me and my confidence. Later that year I was coerced into applying for clinics at Equine Affaire. Much to my surprise, Rydel and I were accepted for two clinics, riding clinics! After about a week of working with the trailer, Rydel walked in confidently the morning of our clinics. Once there, however, we were both a mess! She was practically flying around the fairgrounds and by the time everyone in our first clinic was on their horse, there I was with Rydel, still not mounted, doing my best to hold back my tears. It took every ounce of courage to put my foot in the stirrup and get on (which I know, was absolutely against better judgment), but I was in front of at least 70 people and it was do or die. Well I did it, and I didn't die. Eventually, I was able to get Rydel thinking about the tasks at hand, weave these cones, follow the rail, maintain gait, and oh yeah, relax! It was a long day but we got though it and I might not have gained any horsemanship skills, but I am extremely proud that I overcame my fear! After all, how could I possibly ask my horse to be confident, if I couldn't learn to do the same!

(Rydel and I at Equine Affaire before our second clinic.)

Throughout that year I continued to be a more confident rider, I learned to relax at the canter, and even started learning to jump. To this day, I definitely don't have show-quality equitation, but I am happy to go out and have a gallop on the trail, and I'm fine with that. Of course, up until this point I still didn't have the support of anyone whose heart was really in Parelli, and that is what I needed most. I began frantically searching the Savvy Club forums for members who live in my area. That is how I found Emily, my Parelli enthused new best friend! Emily was the spark that relit the fire in my heart for Parelli. Even without actually meeting her, she had me excited about Parelli again, and together we promised we would go to a Parelli clinic together. Within a few short weeks of knowing each other we had made plans to go to a Parelli Play Day at Parelli Professional, Jesse Peter's farm. The moment our horses stepped out of the trailer, there was a calm that fell over the place. Everyone was in a thinking frame of mind, the horses were calm, and Emily and I knew we had found exactly what we needed! That day was the beginning of so many breakthroughs for Rydel and me. After a private lesson with Jesse, I had a completely different perspective and I was ready to take on the world! I learned that matching Rydel's energy when she gets right brained minimizes the amount of time she stays that way before she starts asking questions. I also learned how to be a more effective communicator and my new motto: retreat, retreat, retreat! After that day I felt like I had a clear and easy way to deal with Rydel's blow ups, how to make things her idea, and how to build her confidence. I couldn't be more grateful we decided to go to that Play Day!

 (Emily and I with our horses, Rydel and Sonny at the Parelli Play Day.)

It was definitely a new beginning; the start of something great!

A Journey Begins With A Single Step

Where do I even begin?

My intrigue with horses started when I was in kindergarten, a friend of mine had a collection of Breyer horses we would play with in her room. At the time, I was extremely interested in naming and personifying the plastic horses, rendering me virtually unaware of my subtle socialization into the horse world. While I was playing, I was also learning about horses. I learned their breeds and colors, and I also learned, via stories from my kindergarten friend's mother, that horses could be loyal friends, partners, if you will. And at the very least, I believed horses were "cool". As I progressed in school however, horses did not play very much of a role in my life. One particular person, however, did play a very significant role in my life, her name is Cecelia, she was my first friend from pre-school, and she is my best friend. In the end, it was Cece who lead me back into the horse world with the brilliant idea of attending the YMCA horseback riding summer camp in the 4th grade. A few days at camp and I was into horses for good.

Fast-forward a few more years to 7th grade, during which time Cece and I joined 4H at Pegasus Therapeutic Riding Center. It was pretty much the only 4H group close to our houses and we learned a great deal about horses. We also learned about compassion and equality as we were expected to volunteer at the therapeutic riding center. I absolutely loved working there- mucking stalls and leading horses- what a life! Of course, in time, it left me wanting a horse of my own, particularly as everyone was taking their horses to shows and the county fair. Yet, little did I know, 4H was about to change my life in a much more profound way. Late in my 4H career our group had somehow managed to get tickets to see Pat and Linda Parelli perform at their tour stop in Columbus, Ohio. Anyone who wanted to go could do so, for free! The only rule was that we must wear our 4H attire to designate our status as a club. I sat in the expo center in absolute astonishment. Pat, Linda, and their crew were not training horses, they were understanding them! It was an incredible experience. In those two short days I was a full fledged believer in natural horsemanship. Parelli was the key! The next step was to find myself a horse!

Sometime toward the end of my 8th grade year, my father had to go on a business trip to Kentucky. Knowing we would be around the Kentucky Horse Park, my mother and I were invited to go along for a mini vacation. The sheer magnificence of the Park simply could not compare to the magnificence of the car ride home. I will never forget that car ride, it was the time my dad finally agreed to let me get a horse! I was elated! Countless dreamhorse.com searches and visits to farms led me to the love of my life, my equine partner and teacher, Rydel. Being an unbroken arabian, everyone thought I was crazy for getting her. And it's true, there were so many clues that should have steered me away from her. (Take her unwillingness to step through a tiny (I mean tiny!) puddle on the ground, for example). But there was no convincing me otherwise, I wanted her. My dad was the first to detect how smart she is. At the same time, it was only a matter of days before we all detected how scared she was! I had my hands full, but despite ridicule, funny looks, and questions like "why don't you just get on that horse and ride?", I stayed true to the Parelli program and was able to work through Rydel's immense fear of people and saddling. She was not a confident horse, but at least she trusted me.

With little support from fellow horse people, it took me a very long time to work my way through level one. Rydel was extremely challenging for me, something I did not care to admit, and I slowly got more and more frustrated and discouraged. Eventually it was to the point that I would make excuses to not go to the barn. If I did go, I would only groom or walk around with her. In high school, I threw myself headfirst into my social life and Speech and Debate. I left little time for my horse and even less time for building an actual relationship with her. It appeared as though I was losing interest in my horse, but in reality, I was just scared. My interests in politics and International Relations lead me to attend The Ohio State University. My time as a freshman in college was spend entirely without my horse. It was this distance that I believe saved my relationship with my horse, and I am so eternally grateful that my parents didn't give up on me and kept Rydel for all those years of figuring things out.

The summer after my freshman year of college, I made a vow to return to the world of natural horsemanship and to pursue a happy and healthy relationship with my horse. I was determined to make it work, which is why, after completeling my summer internship in Pennsylvania, I made the decision to bring Rydel to Columbus. To start over. It was the best decision I ever could have made. In the two years I have had Rydel at school with me, we have made more progress than we have in the five years I had her prior. She still challenges me, but now, I challenge her as well. I learn from my little mare every day, and I am so incredibly grateful that she never gave up on me. She is incredibly forgiving, and I am determined to continue on this journey full steam ahead, never looking back.